If you are reading this, I am so grateful you are here! Thank you for your continued support as I close up the first year of The Real Adoptea Moxie on Substack! I can hardly believe the difference between this year and last year in my personal and professional life. It's as if a wrecking ball has changed everything all around, and instead of the wrecking ball being a flawed thing or an outside source, it was me!
My whole life has changed, literally!
Here are a few things that stand out to me.
I have had more fun and met more amazing people in the last four months of 2023 than I have experienced in my lifetime! I attended some festivals, a rave in a cave, climbed many mountains, found countless waterfalls, made some lifetime connections, and more.
For those who don't know, I work full-time in home health for the elderly. In a nutshell, I help them live independently so they don't have to relocate to nursing homes. This year, I put my emotional, mental, and physical well-being first, and I resigned from a position of 18 years! It was a hard decision but a needed one.
I took on a new role for a new position that better fits me. Another fantastic family I have the privilege of working for. A gigantic load has been minimized to a load that is healthy for me. I couldn’t be more grateful.
I was featured on several podcasts this year, which is always a joy and honor. You can find them all on your favorite streaming platforms by searching “Pamela Karanova.”
I moved from the suburbs of Lexington, KY, where I have lived since I was 17, to a small apartment in an old Victorian house in downtown Lexington. The adventures living downtown are endless.
I am living by myself for the first time in my life, and with this, I am living without my adult kids for the first time. It’s been a wild transition, with some grieving, heartache, and sadness along the way.
I have spent much time running away to nature, my great escape.
I am pressing forward with the vision of Adoptees Connect, Inc. while taking on new personal adventures.
I launched The Real Adoptea Moxie in January 2023. January 2024 will be one year!
I have learned to say "no" to things that don't fit me well.
I have partnered by way of Adoptees Connect, Inc. with Jeffrey Leventhal of S12F to create a fantastic grant opportunity for adoptee-centric organizations called the Adoptees for Awareness grant, which I am enthusiastic about! And I have made a wonderful friend in Jeffrey, which means a lot to me!
We have given six grants to adoptee-centric- organizations in 2023. This is life-changing for the adoptee community! Hooray!
I have built more connections and relationships with adoptees and adoptee organizations worldwide, which means a lot to me.
I have parted ways with some relationships that didn't serve me well.
I started EMDR therapy to work on adoptee triggers. I haven't quit yet! Yahoo!
Drumroll, please! I am launching The Real Adoptea Moxie Emporium soon, and it will provide something for the adoptee community that isn't available anywhere in the world! I have a new adventure nonexistent in the adoption, NPE, LDA, MPE, Donor Conceived, and DNA Surprise community. It is currently in the planning stages and will be launched on 1-23-24. And if you are reading this, you will be the first to know the exciting details as we get closer! Please follow here to be the first to know about the launch.
I am enthusiastic to share that I received grant funding from S12F & Jeffrey Leventhal to complete training to become a Grief Recovery Specialist to assist others in the adoption constellation of how to grieve our losses. Illuminating the intersection of adoption, grief & loss is a tremendous passion of mine. Thank you, Jeffrey and S12F! Grateful is an understatement!
I launched the Adoption: Grieve, Grow, Glo platform that illuminates the intersection of adoption, grief & loss. One of the beautiful things about this platform is that it's attractive to everyone in the adoption constellation, but it's 100% adoptee-centric content. Why is this so important? Why did I choose this name? I will share details in a future article!
I've spent a good part of 2023 recovering from some personal health issues that I haven't made public, nor do I plan to. Learning to set boundaries for myself for my mental and physical health has been critical.
I am letting go of commitments and people not serving me well.
I have learned that it’s okay to not be okay. Big feelings are a challenge to navigate, but we must feel them to heal them.
Another year, I have given myself the gift of being recovered.
I have learned to be okay with not being liked by everyone; as long as I am true to myself, my visions and missions are what matter most!
The weekend of February 3rd, 2024, I will be headed to New York City for Operation Fog Lift for The Reckoning With The Primal Wound Documentary. I am beyond excited to support Autumn Sansom for the screening and meet Jeffrey Leventhal in person for the first time. I will meet Ellie Rosen, our Secretary of Adoptees Connect, Inc., who is also the facilitator of our Adoptees Connect - Providence, RI group, in person, along with several adoptees from her group. I am also excited to meet Francesca Pagano, who has facilitated our Adoptees Connect - Long Island, NY group for over four years! I am also elated to meet many other adoptees in the adoption community in the area. OMG! I am so excited about this event!
Lastly, after a break in our local Adoptees Connect - Lexington, KY group for personal reasons and COVID, we launched back up in April of 2023, and we've been meeting in person monthly since then! We've also planned many fun activities together that have been amazing. We are connecting with new adoptees and adoptee friends I've had for years, which has been life-changing and fulfilling, not to mention them connecting.
As you can see, 2023 has been a year to remember!
MY WHOLE WORLD HAS CHANGED.
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned this year is that giving myself the space to be sad and grieve my adoption story, and within life in general, has changed everything! Instead of running from my big adoptee feelings, I welcome them. It’s been a game-changer!
While I am still settling into the newness of all these fantastic changes, I anticipate 2024 to be the best year yet, not just for me but for you, too!
Lastly, thank each of you for being here to support my work and be a fantastic part of this supportive space on the World Wide Web. Each of you means a lot to me. I hope your New Year is filled with marvelous adventures, fulfilling people, places, and things, and much healing for everyone in the adoption constellation, especially adoptees!
Onward is the new new, sending so much love from me to you!
Happy New Year!
Q & A
For my fellow adoptees, how would you sum up your 2023 journey? What have you learned, and how have you grown during the year? What advice do you have for your fellow adoptees? What has been the year's most exciting (or enlightening) part? Drop your comments below!
For non-adoptees, please share how you are rating your 2023 and what the most exciting parts of your year have been. What have your most valuable lessons been? Drop your comments below!
I see you; I feel your pain for all the adoptees who feel forgotten, lost, and alone. Please don’t give up, and know you aren’t alone in feeling like you do.
For anyone in the adoption constellation, are you interested in setting up a one-on-one AdopTEA RealiTEA Virtual Table Talk Session with me? Visit my booking page here. If you don’t find a time that works for you, contact me directly at pamelakaranova@gmail.com.
I have compiled a list of recommended resources for adoptees and advocates. You can find it here: Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees and Adoption Advocates.
Thank you for reading and for supporting me and my work.
Understanding is Love,
Pamela A. Karanova
Here are a few articles I recommend reading:
100 Heartfelt Transracial Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption by Pamela A. Karanova & 100 Transracial Adoptees Worldwide
What Are the Mental Health Effects of Being Adopted? By Therodora Blanchfield, AMFT
10 Things Adoptive Parents Should Know – An Adoptee’s Perspective by Cristina Romo
Understanding Why Adoptees Are At A Higher Risk for Suicide by Maureen McCauley | Light of Day Stories
Toward Preventing Adoption- Related Suicide by Mirah Riben
Relationship Between Adoption and Suicide Attempts: A Meta-Analysis
Reckoning with The Primal Wound Documentary with a 10% off coupon code (25 available) “adopteesconnect”
Still, Grieving Adoptee Losses, What My Adoptive Parents Could Have Done Differently.
I have learned over the last year to prioritize my health and that includes mental and physical and to let go of people who do not receporcate the love that I give. Also have had a multitude of health issues this past year, so i am right with you on getting over that! I will be talking to my doctors as I took your advice and did that promethase report and found out some stuff I will be processing through and talkign with my drs. My adoptive parent is taking me out of the will so I really learnt who was in my corner as a person this past year. Also, my name and gender marker change as of writing this today is 18 days away!!!!!!! I'll start the year as a new man (literally!!!!) Anyway, thank you for being my friend!! Next year is priortising myself ecvn when it makes others uncomfortable with their preconceived ideas of adoption. I am living my full truth both as myself and as an adoptee!! <3 Here's to 2024 hopefully not kicking me to the curb!!!!
I loved reading your 2023 summary of healing and growth! And I can't wait to meet you in NYC! It will be an honor to be in such company. ((hugs))