An Adoptees Wound: Being Rejected Before Being Born
It's no secret the importance of mother and baby bonding in utero cannot be overstated, but in relinquishment and adoption, it's almost always overlooked.
There is no stronger bond between humans than between a mother and her child.
It's no secret that adoption impacts every adopted person differently. When sharing my narrative, I describe my separation trauma and relinquishment experience before I was adopted as three separate layers of the primal wound and mother wound:
The rejection from my birth mother before I was born.
The abandonment and rejection I received from her at birth.
The rejection and abandonment I experienced from her after I searched and found her.
Each experience has its layered pain and has impacted me immensely in every area of my life. We must distinguish the difference in all three, as they are different dynamics to the lived adoptee experience.
If you have researched the prenatal bonding experience that a mother and child experience before their baby is born, you would know how important this process is. While nothing about adoption should be considered normal, my pre-verbal and prenatal life didn't go as planned.
Consider Reading: The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BONDING IN UTERO
I have extensively researched prenatal and perinatal bonding to understand myself and my relinquishee wounds better. Research has shown that, during pregnancy, your baby feels what you feel—and with the same intensity. That means if you're crying, your baby feels the same emotion as if it's their own. It's no secret the importance of mother and baby bonding in utero cannot be overstated, but in relinquishment and adoption, it's almost always overlooked.
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