Memorializing Unforgotten Adoptees & Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th
This day aims to raise awareness about adoptees' unique experiences and recognize the profound impact that adoption can have on our lives.
Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th is rolling around soon, so I want to highlight what this day means to me and many others in the adoption community.
Consider Reading: Before a month celebrating adoption, a day to recognize adoptees’ trauma.
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of crimes against adoptees by adoptive parents, an action that current media does not recognize. It also allows us to publicly mourn and honor the lives of our brothers and sisters who we have lost and might otherwise be forgotten. It raises awareness about adoptee suicide, highlighting a complex topic. Through these actions, we express love and respect for the adoptee community.
Adoptee Remembrance Day reminds others that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends, and lovers. Adoptee Remembrance Day gives our allies a chance to step forward with us, memorializing those who have died too soon, and it also recognizes the loss all adopted people experience before they're adopted.
While this topic remains sensitive, the number of adoptees who are murdered by their adoptive parents is increasing around the world. It is a time to honor their legacy by setting aside a day for them. While those who have passed away before us can no longer speak and share their stories or voices, many adoptees today are paving the way for the voiceless to become strong enough to share their voices and stories. We are the voice of the voiceless.
We also recognize that there are international adoptees who are living without citizenship and have been deported due to mistakes by adoptive parents, adoption agencies, attorneys, and, ultimately, the U.S. adoption system. Some international adoptees must survive abuse and neglect, including regarding their citizenship, from their adoptive parents. We honor the adoptees who did not survive or are struggling to survive their deportations to countries they left as children, where they have no support network and limited access to support services, including mental health care, clothing, food, and shelter. Lack of citizenship is a tragic and often unacknowledged issue facing the adoptee community.
Consider Reading: Sara’s Story.
Adoptee Remembrance Day is dedicated to honoring and remembering the lives of adoptees who have passed away. It provides an opportunity to acknowledge and pay tribute to those who were part of the adoption community but are no longer with us. This day aims to raise awareness about adoptees' unique experiences and challenges and recognize the profound impact that adoption can have on our lives.
It serves as a platform to advocate for the rights and well-being of adoptees, as well as to promote discussions surrounding mental health, identity, and the significance of belonging. Adoptee Remembrance Day also serves as a reminder of the importance of supporting adoptees and providing resources for their emotional well-being. It encourages communities, organizations, and individuals to unite in solidarity and compassion, offering a safe space for adoptees to share our stories, grieve our losses, and find healing.
Adoptee Remembrance Day seeks to foster a greater understanding of the adoptee experience and promote a more inclusive and supportive society for all individuals impacted by adoption.
Adoptee Remembrance Day, observed on October 30, is dedicated to honoring and remembering adoptees who have experienced loss, trauma, or discrimination throughout their lives. It provides an opportunity for adoptees and their allies to raise awareness about the unique challenges faced by those who have been adopted. This day aims to shed light on the emotional, psychological, and social issues adoptees may encounter, such as feelings of identity loss, search and reunion difficulties, and the impact of being separated from our birth families. It allows adoptees to share our stories, validate our experiences, and promote societal understanding.
Consider Watching: Moses Farrow on His Adopted Siblings.
Adoptee Remembrance Day also serves as a platform to advocate for changes in adoption policies and practices, intending to ensure that the rights and well-being of adoptees are protected and supported. It encourages conversations around issues such as access to original birth records, mental health support, and recognition of the adoptee's voice in adoption-related decisions. By dedicating a day to remember and honor adoptees, this observance seeks to foster empathy, compassion, and respect for the adoptee community while promoting education and awareness among the general public.
Adoptee Remembrance Day, observed on October 30, is a day to honor and remember adoptees who have passed away. This day is open to anyone who wants to show support, raise awareness, and pay tribute to these individuals. It is not limited to adoptees or those directly connected to adoption. Regardless of their experiences with adoption, people from all walks of life can participate in this important day. Adoptee Remembrance Day serves as a platform to acknowledge the unique struggles and challenges adoptees might face throughout their lives.
By participating, individuals can help break the silence surrounding adoptee loss and promote a sense of community and understanding among all those affected by adoption. Participation can take various forms, such as attending memorial events, sharing personal stories, spreading awareness on social media, or simply taking a moment to reflect on the lives of adoptees who have passed away.
Consider Watching: Adoption, DNA, and the impact on a concealed life by Ruth Monning, TedxDUKE
The important thing is to show empathy, support, and respect for the adoptee community and the lives that have been lost. Adoptee Remembrance Day is a collective effort (you do not have to be adopted to participate) to honor the memories of adoptees and create a more compassionate and inclusive society.
If you feel compelled to join, your participation is welcomed and valued.
Some ways to get involved:
Wear YELLOW – We’re dedicating the color YELLOW to this day to honor those adoptees we’ve lost. Please consider wearing yellow to honor them—Spark conversations about why you wear it in your workplace, home, and among friends & family.
Use Hashtags – We’re using hashtags #adopteesconnect, #adopteeremembranceday, and #adopteesweremember #ard2023, so please share all photos, articles, and poems online using this hashtag so we can share with our community.
A Moment of Silence – Pause for 4 minutes of silence to reflect, honor, and remember our fellow adoptees who didn’t survive adoption at 12:00 PM EST on October 30. (Adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide than non-adopted individuals.)
Keep Memories Alive – Keep memories alive & write a paragraph, poem, art, or short story with a photo and tribute about the special adoptee you know who didn’t survive adoption or an incarcerated adoptee. Paint a memory rock, decorating it with your loved one's name, favorite thing, or quote. Tag us on our Facebook on October 30 in their honor.
Share A Tribute – Share a paragraph with your photo if you’re an adoptee who would like to share a tribute to honor the lost adoptees and all you have lost in adoption. Tag our Facebook & Instagram pages.
Have A Ceremonial Bonfire- Gather in person with others who support Adoptee Remembrance Day, and at dusk, light a bonfire in memory of the lost adoptees and all that’s lost in adoption. Everyone can receive a piece of paper to write the message they want to share. They can read them together or keep them private. Then, they can take turns placing their messages into the fire. As the notes burn, the rising flames and the sparks spiraling upward will offer the effects of sending the messages to the heavens.
Events – Schedule and dedicate an event on Facebook for a walk, hike, dinner, lunch, or sit in the park for October 30 in your community or with your Adoptees Connect group or others to honor those who didn’t survive adoption and recognize adoption loss. Do you have a special place or a reminder of someone you lost to adoption? Visit this place and set aside some time to remember your loved one. Be sure to tag our official Adoptee Remembrance Day – Oct 30th page on Facebook, as well as post your events in our events on our Facebook page. We can also co-host your event. Email: adopteeremembranceday@gmail.com to learn more.
Order A T-shirt or Hoodie – Wear our exclusive T-shirts or Hoodies dedicated to this significant day, take photos, and share them with us. Wear them leading up to October 30 to be a walking billboard for this day. We’re the only ones that will get the word out about the significance of this day, so use this as an opportunity to spark conversations. You can find these items at www.adopteemerch.com, with 100% of the proceeds going directly towards our Adoptees Connect Scholarship Fund. This fund helps adoptees receive a scholarship to receive the materials they need to plant an Adoptees Connect group in their area. We have a growing list of individuals who need scholarships and sponsors. The more groups we plant, the more adoptees will have a safe space to share their journeys. Learn more: Sponsor Program. If we see a need for youth & kid sizes, let us know! We will consider adding them to our website. If you can get the whole family involved, that will raise more awareness. Now through October 30, 2023, we are extending a 20% discount on all Adoptee Remembrance Day merchandise. (It has to have Adoptee Remembrance Day on it.) Use coupon code “ADOPTEEREMEMBRANCEDAY2023” at checkout.
Tribute Donations – Make a tribute donation or start a fundraiser for Adoptees Connect, Inc. to honor the memory of a loved one who didn’t survive adoption. The more in-person groups we plant, the less isolation and loneliness adoptees will feel, directly impacting adoptees and creating a community worldwide.
Make A Meme – Make a viral memorial meme to honor adoptees who didn’t survive adoption. Please share it on October 30 in their memory. Tag our Facebook and Instagram pages.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE WAYS TO GET INVOLVED.
Please RSVP to the event on Facebook and invite your friends & family to the event. Click here.
THE REAL ADOPTEA MOXIE
SURPRISE GIVEAWAY
IT’S TIME FOR A REAL ADOPTEA MOXIE GIVEAWAY - THE ADOPTEA REALITEA EXCLUSIVE HOT TEA TIME MUG GOES TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUPPORTERS - JACKY H.
Thank you, Jacky, for your continued friendship and support on The Real Adoptea Moxie platform! Your story is powerful, and I commend you for all of your willingness to share it with us. You are truly an inspiration to me and so many others. This is a small token of appreciation from me to you! Thank you for being you! Keep sharing your story!
I see you; I feel your pain for all the adoptees who feel forgotten, lost, and alone. Please don’t give up, and know you aren’t alone in feeling like you do.
I have compiled a list of recommended resources for adoptees and advocates. You can find it here: Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees and Adoption Advocates.
Thank you for reading and for supporting me and my work.
Understanding is Love,
Pamela A. Karanova
Here are a few Adoptee Remembrance Day articles I recommend reading:
Adoptee Remembrance Day: Today by Light of Day Stories
Before a month celebrating adoption, a day to recognize adoptees’ trauma by Religion News Service
Adoptee Remembrance Day by InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
Adoptee Remembrance Day by Adoptees On
Adoptee Remembrance Day by My Adoptee Truth
Adoptee Remembrance Day Presentation by Brenna Kyeong McHugh
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th by Bastard Nation
It’s Hard to Smile Today – My Tribute to Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th by Pamela A. Karanova
Adoption BE-AWARENESS and Remembrance By Mirah Riben
Adoptee REMEMBRANCE Day by Janet Nordine, Experience Courage
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th YouTube Poetry Hosted By Liz Debetta
Listeners Acknowledge Adoptee Remembrance Day by Adoptees On