Hey everyone — it’s Pamela A. Karanova here, and I want to welcome you to the very first voice drop from The Real Adoptee Moxie: My Adoptee Epiphaniny Series! Here you will find me turning the mic on and taking the mask off!
To be honest, I’ve gone back and forth about what to call this. Substack says it’s a podcast — and sure, that’s the category they offer — but what you’ll find here goes beyond that. This isn’t about production or polish. It’s not a scheduled series or a formal show. It’s raw, real, impromptu. It’s about truth. It’s about voice. It’s about connection.
And it’s about time.
After five decades of wandering the world as an adopted person — living the layers, the lies, the silence, the rage, the rejection, the searching, the finding, and finally coming back home to myself — I’ve realized something:
I have a lot to say. And I’ve learned too much to stay quiet.
This space? The Real Adoptee Moxie is going to be filled with My Adoptee Epiphanies? It’s one of many visions I’ve been slowly bringing to life. I wanted to grow it intentionally, one step at a time — not for hype, not for performance, but for meaning. This is one of those steps. This voice drop is one of those seeds.
The Real Adoptee Moxie: MY Adoptee Epiphanies is the newest extension of my voice — an unfiltered audio space where I drop raw adoptee reflections, lived truths, and revelations from decades of navigating the adoptee experience. It’s a living, breathing companion to my upcoming memoir, Born in the Shadows, Living in the Light: My Adoptee Epiphanies – The Fight of My Life, which has been 15 years in the making. Together, they hold the fire, the fight, and the fullness of what it means to live as an adopted person — out loud, out of the fog, and on my own terms.
Eventually, I plan to bring in other adoptee voices here — to speak out loud how it feels to be adopted. For those of you who don’t know, back in 2012 I launched a platform on Facebook called How Does It Feel To Be Adopted? I asked that one powerful question. And let me tell you — after 13 years, the answers have never stopped coming. Every response is different. Every truth matters. And that question still cracks open something sacred.
So today, I’ll go first.
How does it feel to be adopted?
Being adopted feels like being born severed from the core of who I am — and then expected to smile about it. It feels like living with a permanent identity fracture while the world romanticizes my survival. It’s being gaslit into gratitude while silently drowning in grief. It’s being erased in real time while everyone celebrates my so-called “new beginning.” It’s a grief so deep it never found language — so I’ve carried it in my bones.
It feels like finding my biological mother after 30 years and realizing I’d spent a lifetime chasing someone who never wanted to be found. It feels like meeting my biological father two decades ago and still not being able to find where I belong — at least not inside the constraints of what society calls family. It feels like being permanently unrooted, like every room I walk into demands I shrink myself to fit someone else’s comfort. It feels like never being fully seen — until I finally learned to see myself.
Being adopted feels like being erased and repackaged — stripped of my name, my bloodline, my truth — and expected to be grateful for the wreckage. It’s having my identity rewritten by strangers, sealed by the state, and replaced with a story that was never mine. It’s a lifelong identity crisis dressed up as a “second chance” while the world applauds my silence and calls it love.
It’s abandonment sold as salvation. Trauma rebranded as gratitude. Pain rewritten as progress. And every time I dared to question it, I was met with confusion, shame, or worse — silence. I was labeled: ungrateful, angry, too much. But what I was — what I am — is awake. I grew up pretending, performing, adapting. Always adapting. Because telling the truth about how it really feels? That would blow the whole narrative apart.
The truth is: I’ve never belonged anywhere — except in the life I’ve created on my own terms. No amount of photo albums, fairy tale language, or spiritual bypassing can stitch this wound shut. Adoption didn’t save me. It shattered me. And now I’m done pretending otherwise.
I’ve spent over 15 years out of the fog. I’ve lived the questions, not just studied them. I’ve gathered healing tools, inner clarity, and the guts to speak what others won’t. I don’t have all the answers — but I have truth & understanding but you have to have the willingness to tune in. And that’s what this space is for. Not what’s digestible. Not what’s marketable. But what’s true based on my lived experiences, and what I have learned from hundreds of my fellow adoptees.
This is The Real Adoptee Moxie: My Adoptee Epiphanies
And I’m just getting started.
Here, I’ll be talking about things like:
Breaking the silence and telling the truth — even when it costs me everything
Healing from lifelong complex grief, one piece at a time
Building self-care practices
Facing anxiety and trauma head-on
Prioritizing our mental health on our own terms and setting boundaries ruthlessly.
Returning to the body, to the moment, to ourselves, going inward.
Creating space for joy, movement, nature, and meaning
And reclaiming the narratives that were stolen from us to begin with while exploring the new path we create for ourselves.
Acceptance, How Powerful Manifestation is, and Learning to love ourselves.
These voice drops won’t follow a formula. They’ll come when they come. They’ll be layered, unpredictable, and unapologetic — just like the adoptee experience.
And they won’t be one-sided. I want to hear from you.
After each episode, drop your thoughts. Share what resonated. Tell me how you would answer the question. I’ll be reading and responding, because this isn’t just my space — it’s ours.
So thank you. Truly. Thank you for showing up. For listening. For existing in this world, in your truth, in whatever chapter you’re in. Whether you’re knee-deep in the fog, standing in the light, or somewhere in between — you belong here.
This is the beginning of another ride, everyone is welcome — and I’m honored you’re on it with me. Let’s see where this takes us. Let’s speak what’s real. Let’s spark some adoptee epiphanies. Lets be open to gaining a better understanding of the adoptee experience, one click and conversation at a time.
Before I wrap this first voice drop, I want to hear from you. How does it feel for you to be adopted? What truths have you carried in silence? What have you had to unlearn just to breathe? Have you found your people — or are you still searching? What parts of your story have never had a place to land, until maybe now?
Drop your thoughts, your adoptee epiphanies, your fire — I’m listening. This space was built for truth, not perfection. Let’s speak what’s real, together.
Always remember this is our fight, from living in the shadows to walking in the light.
BIG NEWS: A Wild Twist in My Adoptee Epiphany Series!
Starting today, most episodes of My Adoptee Epiphanies will be recorded where I feel the most grounded—outside in nature. There’s something about the wind, the trees, the birds, the sky… it speaks louder than any therapy room ever could. As an adopted person, connecting with nature has been one of the most unexpected yet profound healing tools I’ve discovered—and I want to bring you into that space with me.
So here’s the twist: each episode will come with a real photo from wherever I am—maybe a waterfall, maybe a patch of moss, maybe a wild sky. Wherever I go, nature goes with me—and now, with you.
The first episode is officially live TODAY!
Let’s wander into the wild truths together.
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