This is wonderful! I loved hearing these truths. Excellent presentation Pamela! As a 75 year old adopted twin who has been in reunion for 23 years, my experience has been complicated! I would be willing to share more but not sure how or where to share.
Let me know if you’re interested.
Thank you for your courage. It is a courageous journey we navigate in our adopted lives and always present. Never truly resolved.
Good morning, Julie - Wow, thank you so much for tuning in and for showing up with this truth. I felt every word. What a journey you’ve lived, an adopted twin in reunion for 23 years? That’s powerful and layered beyond measure.
I’d absolutely love to hear more when you’re ready to share. You can share here if you are open to it. Have you thought of starting a blog about adoption? That was one of the biggest healing tools I have ever done, but its not for everyone.
You’re right, this path doesn’t wrap up in a neat little bow. It’s ongoing, it’s complex, and it’s always with us.
Thanks again for being here. I’m really glad our paths crossed. Let’s keep this conversation going. There is so much healing in sharing! <3 - Pamela
Thank you Pamela. I wouldn’t even know how to do a blog but I will share more as I’m willing. It’s been and cont to be painful. Lots of layers including my sis who wouldn’t join me in my reunion, which I understood. But it caused a year long rift between us and my adoptive family as well. Lost timewhich I regret. She passed away several years ago from Cancer.
But oh my, there’s so much more to this tale. I actually thought of writing a book at one time but that was 20 years ago and now? Not sure I have it in me. I’d rather be at my easel painting, which is my passion and my profession. 🙏
Thank you for sharing this with me. I can feel the weight in your words, and I just want to say, I see you. There’s no “right” way to tell your story, and even just being willing to share pieces of it is powerful. The pain you’ve carried, especially around your sister and the rift with your adoptive family, speaks volumes about the complex layers we navigate as adoptees. I’m so sorry for your loss. That kind of unresolved grief hits differently.
Whether you ever write that book or not, your truth matters and painting sounds like a beautiful way to keep channeling your heart. I believe art is storytelling too, just in another language. If you ever do decide to write or speak more about your journey, I’ll be here to read or listen.
And thank you for your kind words about my blog. That means the world to me! 🩵
YES. That throat chakra cracked open like a dam, and it hasn’t stopped flowing since. I’ll never forget the moment back in 2012, sitting in that Celebrate Recovery group, surrounded by women, and I said “birth mother” out loud for the first time. I was slinging snot and tears like it was my full-time job, but that was the moment. That’s when my adoptee voice started to rise up, and she’s been raging and raving ever since.
Thank you for being here with me on this wild ride; it means more than you know.
Nature really is the therapy room that never lies. Hugs and love to you! <3
Ahh, being an adoptee is truly a lifelong journey with many ups and downs, twists and turns, joy and sorrow. At this part of my journey (I'm in late 60's) your words "coming back home to myself" resonate with me so much right now. My 2025 intention is "Homecoming...to self!" For far too long I've felt disconnected.This year, I'm focusing on healing and discovery of ME! With gratitude Pamela for keeping it Real!
Good Morning, Jane, yes, yes, YES! "Homecoming to self" is where it is at and what a powerful intention for us to have. That hit me right in the gut (in the best way). It takes so much courage to say, “I’ve been disconnected, and now I’m coming back to me.” That’s the real work, the kind that nobody celebrates but changes everything. I see you. And I’m cheering you on with my whole heart. Thank you for walking this path with me and for feeling these words in your bones.
Super random question, have you read Nancy Verrier's book, "Coming Home to Self?" I know many adoptees who resonate with it deeply, myself included. It's sort of a spin off of The Primal Wound.
Let’s keep coming home, one messy, beautiful layer at a time.
Pamela, thank you for your words of support and encouragement!! I have not read Nancy's book, "Coming Home to Self." I've added it to my (getting longer) list. I am currently reading, "Let Us Be Greater: A Gentle, Guided Path to Healing for Adoptees" by Michelle Madrid. With love & grace, Jane
Wow! So many of the things that you just said, have given actual words to things that I have felt my entire life as an adoptee. I have found my people and have been extremely fortunate to get to know them and be a part of their lives also equally fortunate that they are just as excited to know me. Even with all of the positives there is still sadness. It’s not that I haven’t had a great life with my adopted family, there is just a grief there for a reality that was never mine. Thank you for your post and I look forward to hearing more.
Wow, thank you for this. That grief for a reality that was never ours, that’s a whole truth right there. You can have good things, even beautiful things, and still carry that ache. That’s the adoptee paradox. I’m so glad you’ve found your people because that kind of connection is everything. I wish people still knew that we still grieve, and it's still a loss, well after reunions. I wrote about that one time, because I think our non-adopted friends and family believe that finally, maybe we will be at peace now, and let it all go, but that's not how it works for most of us. It actually opens up more wounds, a whole different can of worms, and more grieving of all the losses.
And I’m honored my words helped give language to what’s always lived inside you. Stick around, my friend, there’s more coming. I am just getting started. XOXO P.K.
Thank you so much, that means more than I can say. I spent too many years swallowing my truth, so now that my voice is unlocked, I’m not holding anything back. If my words can make even a sliver of meaning for another adoptee out there, it’s all worth it. I’m grateful you’re here with me on this ride. We’ve got a lot more truth to uncover.
Yes...a lot more truth to uncover! It's scary and empowering at the same time to share our adoption stories. I firmly believe they need to be told, and I'm inspired by your courage to put your truth out to the world.
I'm currently finishing editing my memoir and hope to publish soon. Would love to hear more about your publishing experience if you're open to it.
Much gratitude and love back to you, Patrece (Alberta, Canada)
Thank you so much for your kind words they truly mean a lot. I’m not a publisher (yet!), but I’m deep in the process of writing my memoir. It’s been a long road, years in the making and I plan to go the Amazon self-publishing route once I’m ready. I’m not quite there yet, but getting closer. Lots of information about this on YouTube.
I’m so glad you’re sharing your story. You’re absolutely right, it’s scary and empowering all at once. Our truths deserve to be told, especially in a world that so often silences us. I’d love to stay in touch and hear about your publishing journey too. Sending so much encouragement from afar, keep going, it matters. 🩵
Thanks for your encouragement Pamela. I totally understand the long road to getting a memoir written, edited and published. It has taken me much longer to get to the stage I'm at than I'd ever anticipated.
But, you know what? The process of telling my truth and documenting my weird and wonderful story has changed me. Throughout this journey, I've finally given myself some much needed compassion and validation. I've grown so much.
Writing my memoir has already paid off in a multitude of satisfying ways, so at this point, it's vital for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to let go of the end result. Yes, I'd absolutely like keep in touch.
I appreciate your great effort to educate and share your adoptive experience. Many of your thoughts and feelings I can personally relate to as an adoptee. I had to live with the big dark secret of being adopted. Was placed in a home in which I always felt I didn’t belong.
It was a challenging upbringing as I couldn’t really bond with my adoptive parents.
At 28 years old I married an adoptee. We had two daughters. My children having both of their parents being adopted has brought an interesting mix and conversation to the adoption issue. I’m 72years old and still searching for biological information. It’s cruel that the adoption agency has a file on me but I’m not entitled to have that information. I will take that hurt to my grave.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and for your kind words. Everything you said, the secrecy, the disconnect, the lifelong ache of not belonging, it’s all too familiar to so many of us. That deep, locked-away file while you’re left with nothing but questions? That’s cruelty wrapped in bureaucracy, and I feel that hurt with you.
Have you ever heard of DNA Angels? They’re a volunteer-based team that helps adoptees uncover biological roots through DNA testing. If you haven’t tried testing yet, it might be a path toward some of those answers you’ve been denied. I know it’s not perfect, and it sure as hell doesn’t erase the pain, but it *can* crack open doors no agency ever would.
I’m so grateful you're here and still speaking your truth at 72. That’s powerful. Let’s keep shaking the silence together. XOXO Pamela
Hi Pamela! Your description of how being adopted feels resonates deeply. "...while the world romanticizes my survival", particularly. Thank you for starting this as a way for our community to find and share our own words. I will be following along!
Thank you. That line comes from a place I wish none of us had to know but I’m so glad it resonated with you. There’s something powerful about naming it together, out loud, in our own words. I’m honored to have you following along. This space is ours and I'm so glad you're here! 🩵
At last I have come across my feelings expressed by your words Pamela.
At 62 both adopted parents passed and I had a relatively stable upbringing but alas that lack of belonging stays with me to this day.
I did find my birth mother at 25 and 5 full blooded sisters as I was born out of wedlock in the catholic system in Australia. The series here on TV was called Love Child and was exactly how the system treated unwed mothers.
My birth father wanted nothing to do with me.
I have now retired but still unsettled, solo travelling in a caravan to find my authentic self.
I appreciate your insight and everyone's stories knowing I am not alone in my ongoing struggles.
Good morning to you! Thank you for your honesty and for showing up here with your truth.
That ache you carry, so many of us do. It’s not something time or circumstances can erase.
The fact that you’re still out there searching, still honoring your need to feel real and rooted, that’s something I deeply respect. You’re not alone, even when it feels like you are. I see you.
I love you are out discovering the world and yourself in a caravan! I'll be sharing some similarities with this very soon. Something so freeing about being on the road, exploring, wandering, and seeing the beauty in life, while also going inward trying to figure out who we are, and who we aren't.
I just listened to Natural and it truly brought tears to my eyes. It’s such a beautiful, heartfelt piece and knowing that your ex-husband wrote it about your adoption and your daughter Sophie is the one singing it? Oh my goodness, that’s beyond heartwarming. What an incredible way to honor your experience and give voice to something so deeply personal.
I wanted to ask - would you ever consider sharing this song as part of Adoptee Remembrance Day on October 30th? I’m thinking it could be really powerful to open the day with it, if you’d be open to that. It’s such a moving tribute and I think it could resonate with so many in our community.
Also, are you familiar with Adoptee Remembrance Day? If not, you can visit www.adopteeremembranceday.com to learn more.
Thank you again for reaching out and for sharing such a beautiful gift with the world. So glad you are here! 🩵
Jacqui, I am so sorry I accidentally deleted our conversation... gah! These little dots on Substack are confusing to me but hopefully you get this message.
This is wonderful we can share the song for ARD.
I’m setting a reminder in my planner to touch base with you at the beginning of October so we can follow up about this. If there’s any “story” you want to share with the song, we absolutely can or the song can stand on its own, because it truly is a story in itself. I just think it’s amazing that your ex-husband and daughter are involved.
My email is pamelakaranova@gmail.com if you want to shoot me a message, and I’ll look you up on October 1st. Please tell him thank you!! We’ll be adding “Natural” to the ARD playlist as the #1 song to start the day, and we’ll also be promoting it on Adoptees Connect, Inc. and ARD social media first thing that morning.
Please let me know you received this. I will also look your email up that you subscribed with. Xoxo - Pamela
Jacqui, I am so sorry I accidentally deleted part of our conversation... gah! These little dots on Substack are confusing to me but hopefully you get this message.
This is wonderful we can share the song for ARD.
I’m setting a reminder in my planner to touch base with you at the beginning of October so we can follow up about this. If there’s any “story” you want to share with the song, we absolutely can or the song can stand on its own, because it truly is a story in itself. I just think it’s amazing that your ex-husband and daughter are involved.
My email is pamelakaranova@gmail.com if you want to shoot me a message, and I’ll look you up on October 1st. Please tell him thank you!! We’ll be adding “Natural” to the ARD playlist as the #1 song to start the day, and we’ll also be promoting it on Adoptees Connect, Inc. and ARD social media first thing that morning.
Please let me know you received this. I will also look your email up that you subscribed with. Xoxo - Pamela
So, what resonated? Um, everything! You put to words many feelings I've just been dancing around trying to to figure out. I can't deal with what I can't name. It just keeps going 'round and 'round in the background of my life, like a radio that's on too low to make out the words but that I can still hear constantly, day and night. I have a few of the lyrics now, so maybe I'll be able to make out the rest of my life song and enjoy the music someday.
Wow… your message hit me deep. That radio analogy? That’s exactly it. The constant hum of something we know is there but haven’t had the words for, until now.
I’m so honored that anything I shared helped give you even a few of the lyrics. That’s where the healing starts - naming it. And I truly believe the rest of your life song will come together. Maybe not all at once, but piece by piece, and I hope when it does, it’s something you can finally dance to without the weight. It's taken me about a decade and a half and it gets lighter each day that passes.
The key is, keep feeling all the feelings, even the BIG ADOPTEE FEELINGS, keep sharing. I’m with you, always and sending you so much love! Love you my friend! 🩵
Thank you Pamela, so powerful, honest and true! I'd love to use this as a prompt. Yes, you're so right, the grief still does live in my bones. Waterfalls, moss, trees, sky, ocean have all brought me closer to home inside myself. Painful and beautiful at the same time❤️
The emotional pain of my life is bewildering and overwhelming.
I have tried everything to ‘get better,’ and am in my 50’s now.
Reading through your articles, I know I need to stop listening to people who don’t understand the huge impact on many adopted people’s healthy emotional development. The trauma, overwhelm, lack of confidence, anxiety and depression are draining.
Living around people who mainly don’t understand is devastating. Adoption charities desperately need to educate society more, to stop the isolation - this in NOT self inflicted. This is not a thought process keeping us trapped. It is extremely debilitating trauma.
Gentleness, care, genuine friendship, compassion, empathy…all on repeat, is what we need.
The emotional pain of my life is bewildering and overwhelming.
I have tried everything to ‘get better,’ and am in my 50’s now.
Reading through your articles, I know I need to stop listening to people who don’t understand the huge impact on many adopted people’s healthy emotional development. The trauma, overwhelm, lack of confidence, anxiety and depression are draining.
Living around people who mainly don’t understand is devastating. Adoption charities desperately need to educate society more, to stop the isolation - this in NOT self inflicted. This is not a thought process keeping us trapped. It is extremely debilitating trauma.
Gentleness, care, genuine friendship, compassion, empathy…all on repeat, is what we need.
I love this so much! Pamela. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you.😊
Thank you!!!! Just trying to find some creative and FUN ways to keep on, keeping on! Key word - FUN! 🤩
Well, it was amazing and I loved listening. Thank you.😊
This is wonderful! I loved hearing these truths. Excellent presentation Pamela! As a 75 year old adopted twin who has been in reunion for 23 years, my experience has been complicated! I would be willing to share more but not sure how or where to share.
Let me know if you’re interested.
Thank you for your courage. It is a courageous journey we navigate in our adopted lives and always present. Never truly resolved.
Again Thank you.
Good morning, Julie - Wow, thank you so much for tuning in and for showing up with this truth. I felt every word. What a journey you’ve lived, an adopted twin in reunion for 23 years? That’s powerful and layered beyond measure.
I’d absolutely love to hear more when you’re ready to share. You can share here if you are open to it. Have you thought of starting a blog about adoption? That was one of the biggest healing tools I have ever done, but its not for everyone.
You’re right, this path doesn’t wrap up in a neat little bow. It’s ongoing, it’s complex, and it’s always with us.
Thanks again for being here. I’m really glad our paths crossed. Let’s keep this conversation going. There is so much healing in sharing! <3 - Pamela
Thank you Pamela. I wouldn’t even know how to do a blog but I will share more as I’m willing. It’s been and cont to be painful. Lots of layers including my sis who wouldn’t join me in my reunion, which I understood. But it caused a year long rift between us and my adoptive family as well. Lost timewhich I regret. She passed away several years ago from Cancer.
But oh my, there’s so much more to this tale. I actually thought of writing a book at one time but that was 20 years ago and now? Not sure I have it in me. I’d rather be at my easel painting, which is my passion and my profession. 🙏
Thank you for your blog….it’s excellent!
Hi Julie,
Thank you for sharing this with me. I can feel the weight in your words, and I just want to say, I see you. There’s no “right” way to tell your story, and even just being willing to share pieces of it is powerful. The pain you’ve carried, especially around your sister and the rift with your adoptive family, speaks volumes about the complex layers we navigate as adoptees. I’m so sorry for your loss. That kind of unresolved grief hits differently.
Whether you ever write that book or not, your truth matters and painting sounds like a beautiful way to keep channeling your heart. I believe art is storytelling too, just in another language. If you ever do decide to write or speak more about your journey, I’ll be here to read or listen.
And thank you for your kind words about my blog. That means the world to me! 🩵
Open that throat chakra and enjoy this new step on the journey!
I agree Nature is more healing than any therapy room. ;)
Good morning, Mary!
YES. That throat chakra cracked open like a dam, and it hasn’t stopped flowing since. I’ll never forget the moment back in 2012, sitting in that Celebrate Recovery group, surrounded by women, and I said “birth mother” out loud for the first time. I was slinging snot and tears like it was my full-time job, but that was the moment. That’s when my adoptee voice started to rise up, and she’s been raging and raving ever since.
Thank you for being here with me on this wild ride; it means more than you know.
Nature really is the therapy room that never lies. Hugs and love to you! <3
Loved this!
Hi Jane, Thank you so much! I am so glad you are here! Much love! <3
Ahh, being an adoptee is truly a lifelong journey with many ups and downs, twists and turns, joy and sorrow. At this part of my journey (I'm in late 60's) your words "coming back home to myself" resonate with me so much right now. My 2025 intention is "Homecoming...to self!" For far too long I've felt disconnected.This year, I'm focusing on healing and discovery of ME! With gratitude Pamela for keeping it Real!
Good Morning, Jane, yes, yes, YES! "Homecoming to self" is where it is at and what a powerful intention for us to have. That hit me right in the gut (in the best way). It takes so much courage to say, “I’ve been disconnected, and now I’m coming back to me.” That’s the real work, the kind that nobody celebrates but changes everything. I see you. And I’m cheering you on with my whole heart. Thank you for walking this path with me and for feeling these words in your bones.
Super random question, have you read Nancy Verrier's book, "Coming Home to Self?" I know many adoptees who resonate with it deeply, myself included. It's sort of a spin off of The Primal Wound.
Let’s keep coming home, one messy, beautiful layer at a time.
Sending you Peace, Love & Light, Pamela <3
Pamela, thank you for your words of support and encouragement!! I have not read Nancy's book, "Coming Home to Self." I've added it to my (getting longer) list. I am currently reading, "Let Us Be Greater: A Gentle, Guided Path to Healing for Adoptees" by Michelle Madrid. With love & grace, Jane
Wow! So many of the things that you just said, have given actual words to things that I have felt my entire life as an adoptee. I have found my people and have been extremely fortunate to get to know them and be a part of their lives also equally fortunate that they are just as excited to know me. Even with all of the positives there is still sadness. It’s not that I haven’t had a great life with my adopted family, there is just a grief there for a reality that was never mine. Thank you for your post and I look forward to hearing more.
Good Morning, Mary-
Wow, thank you for this. That grief for a reality that was never ours, that’s a whole truth right there. You can have good things, even beautiful things, and still carry that ache. That’s the adoptee paradox. I’m so glad you’ve found your people because that kind of connection is everything. I wish people still knew that we still grieve, and it's still a loss, well after reunions. I wrote about that one time, because I think our non-adopted friends and family believe that finally, maybe we will be at peace now, and let it all go, but that's not how it works for most of us. It actually opens up more wounds, a whole different can of worms, and more grieving of all the losses.
Here is the link if interested: https://open.substack.com/pub/therealadopteamoxie/p/adoptee-search-and-reunion-trading?
And I’m honored my words helped give language to what’s always lived inside you. Stick around, my friend, there’s more coming. I am just getting started. XOXO P.K.
I love this Pamela. You’re so honest and eloquent. Keep making meaning for our community of adoptees and for all who seek to hear your truth.
Good morning, Patrece,
Thank you so much, that means more than I can say. I spent too many years swallowing my truth, so now that my voice is unlocked, I’m not holding anything back. If my words can make even a sliver of meaning for another adoptee out there, it’s all worth it. I’m grateful you’re here with me on this ride. We’ve got a lot more truth to uncover.
Sending you a lot of love, Pamela
Yes...a lot more truth to uncover! It's scary and empowering at the same time to share our adoption stories. I firmly believe they need to be told, and I'm inspired by your courage to put your truth out to the world.
I'm currently finishing editing my memoir and hope to publish soon. Would love to hear more about your publishing experience if you're open to it.
Much gratitude and love back to you, Patrece (Alberta, Canada)
Hi Patrece,
Thank you so much for your kind words they truly mean a lot. I’m not a publisher (yet!), but I’m deep in the process of writing my memoir. It’s been a long road, years in the making and I plan to go the Amazon self-publishing route once I’m ready. I’m not quite there yet, but getting closer. Lots of information about this on YouTube.
I’m so glad you’re sharing your story. You’re absolutely right, it’s scary and empowering all at once. Our truths deserve to be told, especially in a world that so often silences us. I’d love to stay in touch and hear about your publishing journey too. Sending so much encouragement from afar, keep going, it matters. 🩵
Thanks for your encouragement Pamela. I totally understand the long road to getting a memoir written, edited and published. It has taken me much longer to get to the stage I'm at than I'd ever anticipated.
But, you know what? The process of telling my truth and documenting my weird and wonderful story has changed me. Throughout this journey, I've finally given myself some much needed compassion and validation. I've grown so much.
Writing my memoir has already paid off in a multitude of satisfying ways, so at this point, it's vital for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to let go of the end result. Yes, I'd absolutely like keep in touch.
Keep up your wonderful work Pamela. Bon courage!
Pamela,
I appreciate your great effort to educate and share your adoptive experience. Many of your thoughts and feelings I can personally relate to as an adoptee. I had to live with the big dark secret of being adopted. Was placed in a home in which I always felt I didn’t belong.
It was a challenging upbringing as I couldn’t really bond with my adoptive parents.
At 28 years old I married an adoptee. We had two daughters. My children having both of their parents being adopted has brought an interesting mix and conversation to the adoption issue. I’m 72years old and still searching for biological information. It’s cruel that the adoption agency has a file on me but I’m not entitled to have that information. I will take that hurt to my grave.
Thank you for all that you do for adoptees!
Good morning, Barb! I am so glad you are here!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and for your kind words. Everything you said, the secrecy, the disconnect, the lifelong ache of not belonging, it’s all too familiar to so many of us. That deep, locked-away file while you’re left with nothing but questions? That’s cruelty wrapped in bureaucracy, and I feel that hurt with you.
Have you ever heard of DNA Angels? They’re a volunteer-based team that helps adoptees uncover biological roots through DNA testing. If you haven’t tried testing yet, it might be a path toward some of those answers you’ve been denied. I know it’s not perfect, and it sure as hell doesn’t erase the pain, but it *can* crack open doors no agency ever would.
I’m so grateful you're here and still speaking your truth at 72. That’s powerful. Let’s keep shaking the silence together. XOXO Pamela
Thanks for creating this space and sharing your voice!
You're so welcome! Thank you for being here!
Hi Pamela! Your description of how being adopted feels resonates deeply. "...while the world romanticizes my survival", particularly. Thank you for starting this as a way for our community to find and share our own words. I will be following along!
Hi Virginia, Good morning to you!
Thank you. That line comes from a place I wish none of us had to know but I’m so glad it resonated with you. There’s something powerful about naming it together, out loud, in our own words. I’m honored to have you following along. This space is ours and I'm so glad you're here! 🩵
At last I have come across my feelings expressed by your words Pamela.
At 62 both adopted parents passed and I had a relatively stable upbringing but alas that lack of belonging stays with me to this day.
I did find my birth mother at 25 and 5 full blooded sisters as I was born out of wedlock in the catholic system in Australia. The series here on TV was called Love Child and was exactly how the system treated unwed mothers.
My birth father wanted nothing to do with me.
I have now retired but still unsettled, solo travelling in a caravan to find my authentic self.
I appreciate your insight and everyone's stories knowing I am not alone in my ongoing struggles.
Hello Jacqui,
Good morning to you! Thank you for your honesty and for showing up here with your truth.
That ache you carry, so many of us do. It’s not something time or circumstances can erase.
The fact that you’re still out there searching, still honoring your need to feel real and rooted, that’s something I deeply respect. You’re not alone, even when it feels like you are. I see you.
I love you are out discovering the world and yourself in a caravan! I'll be sharing some similarities with this very soon. Something so freeing about being on the road, exploring, wandering, and seeing the beauty in life, while also going inward trying to figure out who we are, and who we aren't.
Sending you so much love! I'm glad you're here! 🩵
Hi Jacqui,
I just listened to Natural and it truly brought tears to my eyes. It’s such a beautiful, heartfelt piece and knowing that your ex-husband wrote it about your adoption and your daughter Sophie is the one singing it? Oh my goodness, that’s beyond heartwarming. What an incredible way to honor your experience and give voice to something so deeply personal.
I wanted to ask - would you ever consider sharing this song as part of Adoptee Remembrance Day on October 30th? I’m thinking it could be really powerful to open the day with it, if you’d be open to that. It’s such a moving tribute and I think it could resonate with so many in our community.
Also, are you familiar with Adoptee Remembrance Day? If not, you can visit www.adopteeremembranceday.com to learn more.
Thank you again for reaching out and for sharing such a beautiful gift with the world. So glad you are here! 🩵
Jacqui, I am so sorry I accidentally deleted our conversation... gah! These little dots on Substack are confusing to me but hopefully you get this message.
This is wonderful we can share the song for ARD.
I’m setting a reminder in my planner to touch base with you at the beginning of October so we can follow up about this. If there’s any “story” you want to share with the song, we absolutely can or the song can stand on its own, because it truly is a story in itself. I just think it’s amazing that your ex-husband and daughter are involved.
My email is pamelakaranova@gmail.com if you want to shoot me a message, and I’ll look you up on October 1st. Please tell him thank you!! We’ll be adding “Natural” to the ARD playlist as the #1 song to start the day, and we’ll also be promoting it on Adoptees Connect, Inc. and ARD social media first thing that morning.
Please let me know you received this. I will also look your email up that you subscribed with. Xoxo - Pamela
Please see my last comment. 🩵
Jacqui, I am so sorry I accidentally deleted part of our conversation... gah! These little dots on Substack are confusing to me but hopefully you get this message.
This is wonderful we can share the song for ARD.
I’m setting a reminder in my planner to touch base with you at the beginning of October so we can follow up about this. If there’s any “story” you want to share with the song, we absolutely can or the song can stand on its own, because it truly is a story in itself. I just think it’s amazing that your ex-husband and daughter are involved.
My email is pamelakaranova@gmail.com if you want to shoot me a message, and I’ll look you up on October 1st. Please tell him thank you!! We’ll be adding “Natural” to the ARD playlist as the #1 song to start the day, and we’ll also be promoting it on Adoptees Connect, Inc. and ARD social media first thing that morning.
Please let me know you received this. I will also look your email up that you subscribed with. Xoxo - Pamela
So, what resonated? Um, everything! You put to words many feelings I've just been dancing around trying to to figure out. I can't deal with what I can't name. It just keeps going 'round and 'round in the background of my life, like a radio that's on too low to make out the words but that I can still hear constantly, day and night. I have a few of the lyrics now, so maybe I'll be able to make out the rest of my life song and enjoy the music someday.
Wow… your message hit me deep. That radio analogy? That’s exactly it. The constant hum of something we know is there but haven’t had the words for, until now.
I’m so honored that anything I shared helped give you even a few of the lyrics. That’s where the healing starts - naming it. And I truly believe the rest of your life song will come together. Maybe not all at once, but piece by piece, and I hope when it does, it’s something you can finally dance to without the weight. It's taken me about a decade and a half and it gets lighter each day that passes.
The key is, keep feeling all the feelings, even the BIG ADOPTEE FEELINGS, keep sharing. I’m with you, always and sending you so much love! Love you my friend! 🩵
Thank you Pamela, so powerful, honest and true! I'd love to use this as a prompt. Yes, you're so right, the grief still does live in my bones. Waterfalls, moss, trees, sky, ocean have all brought me closer to home inside myself. Painful and beautiful at the same time❤️
“It’s a grief so deep it never found language — so I’ve carried it in my bones.” This is an awesome line!
Thank you, Karen! It definitely speaks for many of us! So glad you're here! 🩵
The emotional pain of my life is bewildering and overwhelming.
I have tried everything to ‘get better,’ and am in my 50’s now.
Reading through your articles, I know I need to stop listening to people who don’t understand the huge impact on many adopted people’s healthy emotional development. The trauma, overwhelm, lack of confidence, anxiety and depression are draining.
Living around people who mainly don’t understand is devastating. Adoption charities desperately need to educate society more, to stop the isolation - this in NOT self inflicted. This is not a thought process keeping us trapped. It is extremely debilitating trauma.
Gentleness, care, genuine friendship, compassion, empathy…all on repeat, is what we need.
The emotional pain of my life is bewildering and overwhelming.
I have tried everything to ‘get better,’ and am in my 50’s now.
Reading through your articles, I know I need to stop listening to people who don’t understand the huge impact on many adopted people’s healthy emotional development. The trauma, overwhelm, lack of confidence, anxiety and depression are draining.
Living around people who mainly don’t understand is devastating. Adoption charities desperately need to educate society more, to stop the isolation - this in NOT self inflicted. This is not a thought process keeping us trapped. It is extremely debilitating trauma.
Gentleness, care, genuine friendship, compassion, empathy…all on repeat, is what we need.