While the trauma of separation is rooted, by the time anyone is adopted, the consequences and aftermath can reverberate in an adoptee's life for a lifetime.
Hi Pamela! Excellent articles as always! I have had quite a journey discovering my own truth and my Adoptive parent despite being a Christian believed "love the sinner hate the sin" when I came out as transgender. And then when I found out I have Jewish ancestry they made it all about "There's no Holy Spirit no J_sus in Judaism!!" and frequently tells me about church and that they're reading the bible as if they can change my ancestry/mind! I also found out the exact name of one of my ancestors who was killed in the Holocaust so hearing the Christian faith being shoved down my throat for my whole life is extremely problematic on its own. I've personally felt the vibes were off in Christianity. in fact a minister last week said "even if they're a jew" in their sermon, and basically the whole church knowing I have Jewish ancestors so that stung. Yeah, religious trauma sucks- plain and simple. you can love someone and not shove your beliefs down their throat especially when you don't know where they came from ethnically!! thats forced conversion everyone! thats also why I felt the vibes of mission trips were waaaayy off. I did confirmation In 8th grade bc it was expected (and I got 150 usd from people for doing it-- and in 8th grade thats a decent chunk of cash!) I'm unlearning all the harmful things I was taught by christianity growing up. Love and understanding right back to you (and kitty purrs)
Good morning Jacky! So thankful you have shared this, and I am elated you have also deconstructed and found your own path. I am so sorry you have had to experience all you have regarding your ethnicity and Christianity being shoved down your throat. So many reasons to rethink what we have been taught, especially when it's as problematic as religion and Christianity. I know transgendered people get such a hard time in general, and adding this layer of religious trauma only complicates things. I am so glad we are both finally seeing the light in the world, OUR OWN LIGHT outside of this toxic belief system. It hasn't been an easy journey, but we are stronger together! Much love to you, and yes, at KITTY PURRS! :D<3
have had a similar struggle with trust as an adoptee. John 10:10 and Jeremiah 29:11 has helped me keep believing in God. Every good and perfect gift is from God the Father of Light and in Him is no shadow of turning. So I've asked Him to teach me to trust Him and keep on trusting. He's not the author of anything but life and is Love, so anything else isn'tof Him. He bore our pain and shame and sin for us on the cross so we can be born all over again with no relinquishment ever. He's not my adopted Father (see that article on my blog for more). Hugs ♡♡♡
Thank you for sharing. I am glad you have found solace in God. Sadly, I tried the "born again" approach, about five different times, but it didn't work for me. It doesn't work for everyone, but I am glad it worked for you! Much love! PK
Thank you, Pamela. You articulate these ideas around adoptee trauma so well. My mother's choice to relinquish me to a SC Catholic Hospital, notwithstanding her societal and family pressures, resulted in my Catholic Charities adoption by an ex-seminarian Air Force officer and wife, both deeply devoted to their religious practice, and the intention to convert me from my birth mother's sins. The toxic mix messed up my mind.
Hi Mary, You are more than welcome. I am so sorry for your pain and I can totally see how that combination would create a mental mind f*ck. I loved it for the majority of my life, but now I am free, thankfully. That's why I keep writing because I know some adoptees haven't found freedom yet, not just religion but also adoption. Sending you mega hugs! You aren't alone!
Hi Pamela! Excellent articles as always! I have had quite a journey discovering my own truth and my Adoptive parent despite being a Christian believed "love the sinner hate the sin" when I came out as transgender. And then when I found out I have Jewish ancestry they made it all about "There's no Holy Spirit no J_sus in Judaism!!" and frequently tells me about church and that they're reading the bible as if they can change my ancestry/mind! I also found out the exact name of one of my ancestors who was killed in the Holocaust so hearing the Christian faith being shoved down my throat for my whole life is extremely problematic on its own. I've personally felt the vibes were off in Christianity. in fact a minister last week said "even if they're a jew" in their sermon, and basically the whole church knowing I have Jewish ancestors so that stung. Yeah, religious trauma sucks- plain and simple. you can love someone and not shove your beliefs down their throat especially when you don't know where they came from ethnically!! thats forced conversion everyone! thats also why I felt the vibes of mission trips were waaaayy off. I did confirmation In 8th grade bc it was expected (and I got 150 usd from people for doing it-- and in 8th grade thats a decent chunk of cash!) I'm unlearning all the harmful things I was taught by christianity growing up. Love and understanding right back to you (and kitty purrs)
Good morning Jacky! So thankful you have shared this, and I am elated you have also deconstructed and found your own path. I am so sorry you have had to experience all you have regarding your ethnicity and Christianity being shoved down your throat. So many reasons to rethink what we have been taught, especially when it's as problematic as religion and Christianity. I know transgendered people get such a hard time in general, and adding this layer of religious trauma only complicates things. I am so glad we are both finally seeing the light in the world, OUR OWN LIGHT outside of this toxic belief system. It hasn't been an easy journey, but we are stronger together! Much love to you, and yes, at KITTY PURRS! :D<3
have had a similar struggle with trust as an adoptee. John 10:10 and Jeremiah 29:11 has helped me keep believing in God. Every good and perfect gift is from God the Father of Light and in Him is no shadow of turning. So I've asked Him to teach me to trust Him and keep on trusting. He's not the author of anything but life and is Love, so anything else isn'tof Him. He bore our pain and shame and sin for us on the cross so we can be born all over again with no relinquishment ever. He's not my adopted Father (see that article on my blog for more). Hugs ♡♡♡
www.peachneitherherenorthere.blogspot.com
Hi Samantha,
Thank you for sharing. I am glad you have found solace in God. Sadly, I tried the "born again" approach, about five different times, but it didn't work for me. It doesn't work for everyone, but I am glad it worked for you! Much love! PK
Thank you, Pamela. You articulate these ideas around adoptee trauma so well. My mother's choice to relinquish me to a SC Catholic Hospital, notwithstanding her societal and family pressures, resulted in my Catholic Charities adoption by an ex-seminarian Air Force officer and wife, both deeply devoted to their religious practice, and the intention to convert me from my birth mother's sins. The toxic mix messed up my mind.
Hi Mary, You are more than welcome. I am so sorry for your pain and I can totally see how that combination would create a mental mind f*ck. I loved it for the majority of my life, but now I am free, thankfully. That's why I keep writing because I know some adoptees haven't found freedom yet, not just religion but also adoption. Sending you mega hugs! You aren't alone!
Thank you. Pam.