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Carlene Ramsey's avatar

Your writing reveals the pain you are experiencing and I am sending hugs. As the second /adoptive mother of two KADs I continue to learn about their world, even 40+ years in. The HAL you mention seem more appropriate for adult or at least young adult adoptees.

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Jane's avatar

I continue to appreciate your writings on adoption and being an adoptee. It's like continuing education! I am a 66 year old adoptee (domestic, closed adoption). I have always and will continue to refer to the women who gave birth to me a.k.a. my birth mom. To your point, the use of birth mom for me was "given" to me based on the terminology used in the 1950's. Four years ago, thru Ancestry, I discovered a half sibling which led to the discovery that my birth mom is still alive. Upon this discovery, she confirmed my birth details to my half sibling and then said the door is closed never to be opened. At the end of the day, this woman is NOT my mom. For me (my choice) she is the woman who gave birth to me. She is not my mother. She did not mother me. She did not raise me. She did not nurture me.

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