Many adoptees are conditioned to believe they owe their adopters endless gratitude for being "rescued." This manipulation strips adoptees of their ability to set boundaries or advocate for themselves.
It's sad when kids are subjected to servitude without love. My adoptive parents adopted ONLY because they needed help. They also wanted a guarantee that the adopted person would care for them as both a child and adult, caring for aged parents because their natural son had developmental problems and couldn't care for them. When I turned 4 years old, I was expected to watch a diabetic parent for symptoms of insulin reaction and treat it. It was a terrifying childhood and included work way beyond what other kids my age did in their homes. It also was very abusive. My biological siblings were also removed from our family, and luckily, they had much kinder adoptive parents. My recent graphic memoir is Connecting Threads: Five Siblings Lost and Found.
Your story is deeply moving and painful to hear. I can relate to being adopted not out of love but as a means to serve, to carry burdens far beyond your years, is such an unfair and heartbreaking reality. Being tasked with watching over a diabetic parent at just 4 years old, on top of the expectation to fulfill adult-level responsibilities, is unimaginable and isolating for a child. No one should have to carry that kind of fear and pressure, let alone endure abuse.
It’s powerful that you’ve shared your truth through Connecting Threads: Five Siblings Lost and Found. Your voice sheds light on a reality many endure but few speak about, and it’s meaningful that your biological siblings found kinder adoptive parents. I hope your story reaches those who need to hear it, those who can relate, learn, or find comfort in knowing they’re not alone. Thank you for sharing this with me. 🩵
I certainly experienced servitude. I was expected to vacuum and dust the entire house, clean both bathrooms from top to bottom which included cleaning the floors on my hands and knees, clean the basement stairs, clean the entryway on my hands and knees, shake out all the rugs outside, wash the sliding glass doors... I did this every Saturday. My adoptive mother told me I could watch Saturday morning cartoons if I got done in time. She always added more to my list so I never got done on time. So after I learned I will never watch Saturday morning cartoons, I spent most of my morning singing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. I was also expected to help with special chores like canning, chopping wood, picking all the fruit and vegetables. It wasn't much of a childhood looking back.
Thank you for sharing this. It’s clear how much you carried on your shoulders as a child, with expectations that far exceeded what should have been asked of you. The pattern of adding more tasks so you couldn’t finish in time sounds especially unfair, and it is very similar to my experience as well. I am so sorry it denied you even the small joy of Saturday morning cartoons, a moment so many kids cherish. I actually wrote about this in my memoir I am finishing. The way you turned to singing in the bathroom, finding your own small escape, speaks volumes about your ability to adapt under difficult circumstances. It’s heartbreaking to see how much of your childhood was consumed by work and obligation instead of care and play. You deserved so much better. 🩵
Adoption is legalized slavery disguised as a holy sacrifice done by the adopted parents who are viewed as saints. It was exactly this false sainthood that hid the family scapegoat abuse that went on behind closed doors for decades with my adopted family. They were loved and adored in public as pious loving parents who transformed into abusive monsters resembling an unsupervised mental ward that I was forced to grow up in believing that was NORMAL. (NOT NORMAL)
You’ve captured such a harsh, unspoken truth about adoption and the false narratives surrounding it. The way society glorifies adoptive parents as saints often allows them to hide abusive behaviors behind closed doors, leaving adoptees to suffer in silence. That dynamic of being seen as the “family scapegoat” while the abusers are celebrated publicly—is deeply isolating and damaging. I know because I also lived it.
What you describe, growing up in an environment that felt like chaos and being conditioned to believe it was normal, is something no child should endure. The psychological toll of living through that and questioning your reality is immense, and it’s powerful that you’re calling it out for what it is. I know many adoptees feel the same way. Abuse masked as piety isn’t love, and it’s certainly not normal but I do think it's more common in adoption than most people think. Your voice is vital in challenging these harmful systems and exposing the truth many refuse to see. Thank you for speaking so boldly and for sharing your truth! We need to hear it! 🩵
Thank you Pamela. I’ve suffered in an unsupported silence for decades. I’m planning to write a memoir so others know they are not alone and that they have a voice when collective society shames and blames them for being the family scapegoat.
You're so welcome! Thank you for sharing that! I’m so proud of you for stepping forward and sharing your story. It’s such a brave thing to do, and I know how powerful it can be to break that silence. I’m finishing my memoir as well, and I’ve found the process to be extremely therapeutic. Putting it all down, piece by piece, is like reclaiming your voice. Sharing it will no doubt be rewarding, not just for you, but for those who need to hear they’re not alone. Keep going my friend, you have so much to offer, and your story matters. I’m cheering you on!! 💫🩵
It's sad when kids are subjected to servitude without love. My adoptive parents adopted ONLY because they needed help. They also wanted a guarantee that the adopted person would care for them as both a child and adult, caring for aged parents because their natural son had developmental problems and couldn't care for them. When I turned 4 years old, I was expected to watch a diabetic parent for symptoms of insulin reaction and treat it. It was a terrifying childhood and included work way beyond what other kids my age did in their homes. It also was very abusive. My biological siblings were also removed from our family, and luckily, they had much kinder adoptive parents. My recent graphic memoir is Connecting Threads: Five Siblings Lost and Found.
Your story is deeply moving and painful to hear. I can relate to being adopted not out of love but as a means to serve, to carry burdens far beyond your years, is such an unfair and heartbreaking reality. Being tasked with watching over a diabetic parent at just 4 years old, on top of the expectation to fulfill adult-level responsibilities, is unimaginable and isolating for a child. No one should have to carry that kind of fear and pressure, let alone endure abuse.
It’s powerful that you’ve shared your truth through Connecting Threads: Five Siblings Lost and Found. Your voice sheds light on a reality many endure but few speak about, and it’s meaningful that your biological siblings found kinder adoptive parents. I hope your story reaches those who need to hear it, those who can relate, learn, or find comfort in knowing they’re not alone. Thank you for sharing this with me. 🩵
I certainly experienced servitude. I was expected to vacuum and dust the entire house, clean both bathrooms from top to bottom which included cleaning the floors on my hands and knees, clean the basement stairs, clean the entryway on my hands and knees, shake out all the rugs outside, wash the sliding glass doors... I did this every Saturday. My adoptive mother told me I could watch Saturday morning cartoons if I got done in time. She always added more to my list so I never got done on time. So after I learned I will never watch Saturday morning cartoons, I spent most of my morning singing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. I was also expected to help with special chores like canning, chopping wood, picking all the fruit and vegetables. It wasn't much of a childhood looking back.
Thank you for sharing this. It’s clear how much you carried on your shoulders as a child, with expectations that far exceeded what should have been asked of you. The pattern of adding more tasks so you couldn’t finish in time sounds especially unfair, and it is very similar to my experience as well. I am so sorry it denied you even the small joy of Saturday morning cartoons, a moment so many kids cherish. I actually wrote about this in my memoir I am finishing. The way you turned to singing in the bathroom, finding your own small escape, speaks volumes about your ability to adapt under difficult circumstances. It’s heartbreaking to see how much of your childhood was consumed by work and obligation instead of care and play. You deserved so much better. 🩵
Adoption is legalized slavery disguised as a holy sacrifice done by the adopted parents who are viewed as saints. It was exactly this false sainthood that hid the family scapegoat abuse that went on behind closed doors for decades with my adopted family. They were loved and adored in public as pious loving parents who transformed into abusive monsters resembling an unsupervised mental ward that I was forced to grow up in believing that was NORMAL. (NOT NORMAL)
You’ve captured such a harsh, unspoken truth about adoption and the false narratives surrounding it. The way society glorifies adoptive parents as saints often allows them to hide abusive behaviors behind closed doors, leaving adoptees to suffer in silence. That dynamic of being seen as the “family scapegoat” while the abusers are celebrated publicly—is deeply isolating and damaging. I know because I also lived it.
What you describe, growing up in an environment that felt like chaos and being conditioned to believe it was normal, is something no child should endure. The psychological toll of living through that and questioning your reality is immense, and it’s powerful that you’re calling it out for what it is. I know many adoptees feel the same way. Abuse masked as piety isn’t love, and it’s certainly not normal but I do think it's more common in adoption than most people think. Your voice is vital in challenging these harmful systems and exposing the truth many refuse to see. Thank you for speaking so boldly and for sharing your truth! We need to hear it! 🩵
Thank you Pamela. I’ve suffered in an unsupported silence for decades. I’m planning to write a memoir so others know they are not alone and that they have a voice when collective society shames and blames them for being the family scapegoat.
You're so welcome! Thank you for sharing that! I’m so proud of you for stepping forward and sharing your story. It’s such a brave thing to do, and I know how powerful it can be to break that silence. I’m finishing my memoir as well, and I’ve found the process to be extremely therapeutic. Putting it all down, piece by piece, is like reclaiming your voice. Sharing it will no doubt be rewarding, not just for you, but for those who need to hear they’re not alone. Keep going my friend, you have so much to offer, and your story matters. I’m cheering you on!! 💫🩵
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