Everyone around me wondered why I was so destructive, so violent, so out of control. But they didn't understand that I was at war within myself and with that, I was at war with the world.
Thank you so much! W Iust added these songs! I appreciate you sharing these beautiful pieces, and I am certain so many other adoptees will enjoy them on ARD and will be able to relate to them. Hugs and love! XOXO
Keep speaking your truth and your story because fellow adoptees who are struggling, continuing to struggle, and who are not OK, need to hear they aren't alone. Keep speaking your truth and your story for fellow adoptees whose truth/story is different than yours, like mine. We create understanding and heal as a community by accepting each other (wherever you are on your struggle or healing journey) with empathy, compassion and understanding as we navigate our lifelong journey as an adoptee.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I deeply believe that by sharing our stories, we create a space for healing and connection, not just for ourselves but for all adoptees—those whose stories may mirror our own and those whose experiences are entirely different. We need each other on this journey, and the more we accept and empathize with one another, the more we can lift each other up. Thank you for reminding me of the power of empathy and understanding as we navigate this lifelong journey together. Sending you so much love and appreciation. We added your song! :) XOXO PK
Thank you so much! Your kind words mean the world to me. I'm so glad you enjoyed the article, and your appreciation truly touches my heart. Sending you endless gratitude and lots of love! XOXO PK p.s. I added your song! Ty for sharing it! Beautiful!
“We Belong”, by Pat Benatar, as in all of our many facets we’ve created and lived as in order to survive and all those inner parts of our survival identity and our healing Self … ‘we’, all our inner identities, all belong as real and valid. And, as in all adoptees belong. This song is a rallying cry to convince ourselves and sing this message out to others! WE BELONG, and our feelings belong, our truths belong, just the way we are.
And “Flowers”, by Miley Cyrus because it’s all about self-love and self-worth and self-care and thriving in the face of others’ ignorance, blame and denial.
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful songs and the powerful sentiments behind them for our ARD playlist. "We Belong" by Pat Benatar truly captures the essence of our many facets—the survival identities we've had to create and the healing selves we're becoming. It's a powerful rallying cry, reminding us that all our parts, all our truths, and all of who we are belong and are valid. As adoptees, this message is so important, and I'm grateful for this reminder that we all belong.
“Flowers” by Miley Cyrus is such an empowering choice as well. The message of self-love, self-worth, and self-care in the face of others’ ignorance, blame, and denial is one that resonates deeply. It speaks to our strength and our ability to thrive despite it all. Thank you again for contributing such meaningful songs to this playlist—your thoughtful selections will inspire and uplift so many. Sending you mucho love and mega hugs! XOXO PK.
Hi Herald, SO wonderful to "see you" here and thank you so much for your kind words and for contributing to the ARD playlist with "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd. I just added it!
WOW! It's good! The raw emotion in that song speaks to the intense feelings many of us experience, and it’s a powerful choice. I appreciate you acknowledging the truth and vulnerability that we all carry—it’s through this strength that we connect and support each other. Thanks again for your contribution and I hope you are well! Hugs from Lex! :) XOXO PK
I found Paul Sunderland’s talk on Adoption and Addition to be transformational for those who are separated from their birth mothers at birth. Has anyone else seen it. It’s about an hour. It helped me so much to come out of the fog.
I've actually had Paul Sunderland’s talk on my recommended resources tab for about a decade and a half—it’s definitely been pivotal in my healing journey, and so incredibly validating. I’m so glad you found it too! What part resonated with you the most?
If you're interested, I also recommend Gabor Maté. While he's not adopted himself, he works extensively with trauma and addiction, which really ties into so much of our experience as adoptees. Have you heard of him? I also want to mention my close friend David Bohl, who is adopted and my go-to when it comes to adoption and addiction. He has a powerful memoir and a website that you might find helpful. Here's the link: www.davidbbohl.com
Here’s a link to my recommended resources, which has tons of helpful information that I hope continues to support you: https://pamelakaranova.com/resources/
Keep healing and sharing—both are absolutely the path to a lighter existence as an adoptee. XOXO PK
This is to mother you by Sinead o Connor, Mary gauthier , march 11 1962, and this is my self mothering playlist for when I feel really bruised: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1SsclDUc1qQZ4UEc86hgSo?si=ar0kF_ZaTOmxaPGhdq60bg&pi=hvlGVivsTemkz ❤️
Hi Emma,
Thank you so much! W Iust added these songs! I appreciate you sharing these beautiful pieces, and I am certain so many other adoptees will enjoy them on ARD and will be able to relate to them. Hugs and love! XOXO
Keep speaking your truth and your story because fellow adoptees who are struggling, continuing to struggle, and who are not OK, need to hear they aren't alone. Keep speaking your truth and your story for fellow adoptees whose truth/story is different than yours, like mine. We create understanding and heal as a community by accepting each other (wherever you are on your struggle or healing journey) with empathy, compassion and understanding as we navigate our lifelong journey as an adoptee.
My song rec: What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish
Hi Jane,
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I deeply believe that by sharing our stories, we create a space for healing and connection, not just for ourselves but for all adoptees—those whose stories may mirror our own and those whose experiences are entirely different. We need each other on this journey, and the more we accept and empathize with one another, the more we can lift each other up. Thank you for reminding me of the power of empathy and understanding as we navigate this lifelong journey together. Sending you so much love and appreciation. We added your song! :) XOXO PK
Thank you a thousand times!! Great article! I so appreciate this. ❤️🙏
My song is Miley Cyrus - Flowers 🌸
HI Saige,
Thank you so much! Your kind words mean the world to me. I'm so glad you enjoyed the article, and your appreciation truly touches my heart. Sending you endless gratitude and lots of love! XOXO PK p.s. I added your song! Ty for sharing it! Beautiful!
“We Belong”, by Pat Benatar, as in all of our many facets we’ve created and lived as in order to survive and all those inner parts of our survival identity and our healing Self … ‘we’, all our inner identities, all belong as real and valid. And, as in all adoptees belong. This song is a rallying cry to convince ourselves and sing this message out to others! WE BELONG, and our feelings belong, our truths belong, just the way we are.
And “Flowers”, by Miley Cyrus because it’s all about self-love and self-worth and self-care and thriving in the face of others’ ignorance, blame and denial.
Good morning, Christina! (beautiful flower!) :)
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful songs and the powerful sentiments behind them for our ARD playlist. "We Belong" by Pat Benatar truly captures the essence of our many facets—the survival identities we've had to create and the healing selves we're becoming. It's a powerful rallying cry, reminding us that all our parts, all our truths, and all of who we are belong and are valid. As adoptees, this message is so important, and I'm grateful for this reminder that we all belong.
“Flowers” by Miley Cyrus is such an empowering choice as well. The message of self-love, self-worth, and self-care in the face of others’ ignorance, blame, and denial is one that resonates deeply. It speaks to our strength and our ability to thrive despite it all. Thank you again for contributing such meaningful songs to this playlist—your thoughtful selections will inspire and uplift so many. Sending you mucho love and mega hugs! XOXO PK.
Thanks Pam, You have a Truth that’s hard told, and vulnerability equals strength.
‘She Hates Me’ Puddle of Mud.
Hi Herald, SO wonderful to "see you" here and thank you so much for your kind words and for contributing to the ARD playlist with "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd. I just added it!
WOW! It's good! The raw emotion in that song speaks to the intense feelings many of us experience, and it’s a powerful choice. I appreciate you acknowledging the truth and vulnerability that we all carry—it’s through this strength that we connect and support each other. Thanks again for your contribution and I hope you are well! Hugs from Lex! :) XOXO PK
I found Paul Sunderland’s talk on Adoption and Addition to be transformational for those who are separated from their birth mothers at birth. Has anyone else seen it. It’s about an hour. It helped me so much to come out of the fog.
Hi Alina, Thank you so much for your comment!
I've actually had Paul Sunderland’s talk on my recommended resources tab for about a decade and a half—it’s definitely been pivotal in my healing journey, and so incredibly validating. I’m so glad you found it too! What part resonated with you the most?
If you're interested, I also recommend Gabor Maté. While he's not adopted himself, he works extensively with trauma and addiction, which really ties into so much of our experience as adoptees. Have you heard of him? I also want to mention my close friend David Bohl, who is adopted and my go-to when it comes to adoption and addiction. He has a powerful memoir and a website that you might find helpful. Here's the link: www.davidbbohl.com
Here’s a link to my recommended resources, which has tons of helpful information that I hope continues to support you: https://pamelakaranova.com/resources/
Keep healing and sharing—both are absolutely the path to a lighter existence as an adoptee. XOXO PK