One of many common myths about adoptee grief is that adoptees have nothing to grieve, to begin with as if our biological families don't exist and we are blank slates.
I hope you don't mind I shared this in a couple of my "birth" mother FB groups. So much of what you say here applies to us too. I also encourage birth parents to lean into the truth about their children's adoption loss trauma and accept that they did not get a "better" life as promised, just a different one with biological strangers. Many can not face the pain and guilt that comes up with accepting that truth about the consequence of separation for our lost children but we owe it to them to open our hearts to it - and them, if and when we are fortunate enough to reunite.
I hope you don't mind I shared this in a couple of my "birth" mother FB groups. So much of what you say here applies to us too. I also encourage birth parents to lean into the truth about their children's adoption loss trauma and accept that they did not get a "better" life as promised, just a different one with biological strangers. Many can not face the pain and guilt that comes up with accepting that truth about the consequence of separation for our lost children but we owe it to them to open our hearts to it - and them, if and when we are fortunate enough to reunite.
amazing. thank you for a great piece.