Wow! This used to be me and sometimes I still slip back into over sharing. The best thing I have found is meeting up with other adoptees every month. Whatever is said in the group stays in the group and we have slowly become deeply close and so connected with each other. I really recommend this to other adoptees. Pamela, you have helped me and many others heal and grow to become better people. Thank you so much 😊
I appreciate the kind words! Truly! Thank you so much for chiming in here, and I am glad you could resonate with this article. I am so glad you have found healing and community with other adoptees, meeting together once a month. Forging those deeply close relationships with those who can speak the same language, changes everything! I am so grateful to be able to explore my own path, and regardless of the turbulence, I have found great purpose in all the pain. Besides writing, nature, waterfalls, this has also been a pivotal point in my healing. Sending you mega hugs! Thank you for being you, and all that you do! <3
Yes, I can relate to all of this! When I started to channel it into writing and art, into truth speaking, the real healing started. But I feel like it's a never ending process. I still watch my friends list shrink on Facebook when I share my adoptee feels. Oh well! Thanks for sharing. Solidarity :-)
Good morning Lynn, thank you for sharing your thoughts here! I am so glad you have found some healing tools for yourself and your voice! I can so relate to the loss of friends when sharing your adoptee reality. People don't want to hear the truth. Even if they can't relate, they can try to understand and put themselves in our shoes, but I have learned the hard way some people don't have it in them. I think that's one of the reasons connecting with other adoptees is so vital! When the world has left us high and dry, we can validate one another's feelings and stories. Sending you lots of love and definitely standing with you in solidarity!
Well I am glad that this is not just my story because I was feeling a bit peculiar for always wanting to share everything with everyone. I took realized that nobody had the capacity to comprehend enough to even pretend to fashion an appropriate empathetic response. Always a blank stare or awkward moments except the few who attached to my words in amazement due to similar feelings of rejection through other forms.
Thank you for being a voice for many who have yet to find their own
Good morning Erin, Thank you for sharing and for your insights here! It is definitely not only you! I never realized I was doing it, nor did I know anything about it being a trauma response. I was dying for someone to listen, to hear me. But sadly, there was no one until I launched my local Adoptees Connect group. Now, I have shared my story so much that my tears have dried up (for the most part), and I honestly don't normally share it in person anymore. I write about it because writing has been one of my main healing tools, but outside of that, I have shared my story so much that I am honestly sick of it! Haha! When I do share, I give a very short, simple version, and I want the limelight to be over really fast! I do believe in us sharing our stories, and others begin to share their stories as they gain validation and confidence in hearing us share ours. So I guess finding the balance, and filtering when to share, when not to share, and also "checking in" with the other person, to see if they are prepared emotionally and mentally to hear my story as well. I think all of these things have come as we become more aware of ourselves, our feelings, our surroundings, who is safe, who isn't, etc. Sending you so much love! Thank you for being you and all you do! <3
Yup. I have been telling stories writing drawing. The whole deal since I was in kindergarten. Going to adoptee support groups online has really helped. And therapy.
For me at lewasr finding a trauma therapist and one who listened to me and validated all my trauma = was key
Good morning, my friend! Thank you for chiming in! Wow, it's wild how many of us have the storytelling piece all the way back to the beginning. I am so glad that the online support groups and finding a trauma therapist to listen to and validate your experiences have helped you. That is wonderful! It is so necessary and important! Sending you lots of love as you navigate your day! <3
Wow! This used to be me and sometimes I still slip back into over sharing. The best thing I have found is meeting up with other adoptees every month. Whatever is said in the group stays in the group and we have slowly become deeply close and so connected with each other. I really recommend this to other adoptees. Pamela, you have helped me and many others heal and grow to become better people. Thank you so much 😊
Hi Daryl,
I appreciate the kind words! Truly! Thank you so much for chiming in here, and I am glad you could resonate with this article. I am so glad you have found healing and community with other adoptees, meeting together once a month. Forging those deeply close relationships with those who can speak the same language, changes everything! I am so grateful to be able to explore my own path, and regardless of the turbulence, I have found great purpose in all the pain. Besides writing, nature, waterfalls, this has also been a pivotal point in my healing. Sending you mega hugs! Thank you for being you, and all that you do! <3
Yes, I can relate to all of this! When I started to channel it into writing and art, into truth speaking, the real healing started. But I feel like it's a never ending process. I still watch my friends list shrink on Facebook when I share my adoptee feels. Oh well! Thanks for sharing. Solidarity :-)
Good morning Lynn, thank you for sharing your thoughts here! I am so glad you have found some healing tools for yourself and your voice! I can so relate to the loss of friends when sharing your adoptee reality. People don't want to hear the truth. Even if they can't relate, they can try to understand and put themselves in our shoes, but I have learned the hard way some people don't have it in them. I think that's one of the reasons connecting with other adoptees is so vital! When the world has left us high and dry, we can validate one another's feelings and stories. Sending you lots of love and definitely standing with you in solidarity!
Well I am glad that this is not just my story because I was feeling a bit peculiar for always wanting to share everything with everyone. I took realized that nobody had the capacity to comprehend enough to even pretend to fashion an appropriate empathetic response. Always a blank stare or awkward moments except the few who attached to my words in amazement due to similar feelings of rejection through other forms.
Thank you for being a voice for many who have yet to find their own
Good morning Erin, Thank you for sharing and for your insights here! It is definitely not only you! I never realized I was doing it, nor did I know anything about it being a trauma response. I was dying for someone to listen, to hear me. But sadly, there was no one until I launched my local Adoptees Connect group. Now, I have shared my story so much that my tears have dried up (for the most part), and I honestly don't normally share it in person anymore. I write about it because writing has been one of my main healing tools, but outside of that, I have shared my story so much that I am honestly sick of it! Haha! When I do share, I give a very short, simple version, and I want the limelight to be over really fast! I do believe in us sharing our stories, and others begin to share their stories as they gain validation and confidence in hearing us share ours. So I guess finding the balance, and filtering when to share, when not to share, and also "checking in" with the other person, to see if they are prepared emotionally and mentally to hear my story as well. I think all of these things have come as we become more aware of ourselves, our feelings, our surroundings, who is safe, who isn't, etc. Sending you so much love! Thank you for being you and all you do! <3
Yup. I have been telling stories writing drawing. The whole deal since I was in kindergarten. Going to adoptee support groups online has really helped. And therapy.
For me at lewasr finding a trauma therapist and one who listened to me and validated all my trauma = was key
Good morning, my friend! Thank you for chiming in! Wow, it's wild how many of us have the storytelling piece all the way back to the beginning. I am so glad that the online support groups and finding a trauma therapist to listen to and validate your experiences have helped you. That is wonderful! It is so necessary and important! Sending you lots of love as you navigate your day! <3