I must say I refuse to plan for "future generations of adoptees" and "birth" parents. I will speak out now to abolish the adoption industry and call it what it is: child trafficking. Prospective adopters need to accept that they can't build a family on the ruins of a destroyed one that was not preserved because a profit could be turned.
Hi Mary, I totally understand this wholeheartedly. I have a deep rooted desire for adoption to be abolished as well and have been sharing that POV for years. Sadly, adoption is still going to happen and adoptees are dying because the pain of relinquishment is killing them. We need more resources available and that is what I have dedicated much of my life to is creating resources. I can't sit back and do nothing waiting on adoption to be abolished. It's been an internal tug-of-war for years because I truly believe a huge part of why adoptees are taking their own lives is because lack of resources to help them navigate this mess that our birth mothers and adoptive mothers signed us up for. My heart strings pulled in the direction of illuminating adoption, grief and loss because making this discovery that I had been grieving from my first breath at the loss of my birth mother, and this saved my life. I think we can consecutively wish adoption was abolished (which I do) but also DO SOMETHING. Sitting there wishing adoption was abolished didn't work for me. I had to put action behind it. I desperately needed these resources and I know other adoptees do as well. They are my focus because I also hope they are provided with tools to help them find internal peace inside. I do hear you, and totally get what you are saying.
Thank you for listening and supporting adoption abolition. Adoption isn't the only system in need of abolition and I think the time is now for us to see the connections and bring all of this to light.
Absolutely, we must save adoptee lives while we work for abolition. Having lost my son twice (adoption and suicide) I understand this better than many. The healing and recovery work you offer to adoptees is the best thing we have going in adoptionland and I never miss an opportunity to raise your profile.
Let's just be mindful that the industry is always ten steps ahead of us activists (because of resources) and co-opts our hard-won knowledge to steal more babies away from families, i.e., many agencies now say they are "trauma-informed." Like the lie of "open adoption," it's just another marketing strategy to relieve them of culpability, allay potential relinquisher or prospective adopter fear and close the deal.
Always much love and deep gratitude for all you do!
Absolutely and so very sorry for your heartbreak and loss. And thank you for your advocacy. One of the many ways I've personally stepped into the arena of advocating against adoption is to support family preservation organizations and we've given several grants to help keep families together by supporting these organizations. I feel the key is putting action behind our words, because otherwise I personally feel like many people talk about wanting change but action on them doing something about it is null and void. It's quite disheartening however, I stay on the course of doing all I can to raise awareness on the harms of adoption while creating resources for the community that means a lot to me. So much work to be done. Sending you many hugs!
I must say I refuse to plan for "future generations of adoptees" and "birth" parents. I will speak out now to abolish the adoption industry and call it what it is: child trafficking. Prospective adopters need to accept that they can't build a family on the ruins of a destroyed one that was not preserved because a profit could be turned.
Hi Mary, I totally understand this wholeheartedly. I have a deep rooted desire for adoption to be abolished as well and have been sharing that POV for years. Sadly, adoption is still going to happen and adoptees are dying because the pain of relinquishment is killing them. We need more resources available and that is what I have dedicated much of my life to is creating resources. I can't sit back and do nothing waiting on adoption to be abolished. It's been an internal tug-of-war for years because I truly believe a huge part of why adoptees are taking their own lives is because lack of resources to help them navigate this mess that our birth mothers and adoptive mothers signed us up for. My heart strings pulled in the direction of illuminating adoption, grief and loss because making this discovery that I had been grieving from my first breath at the loss of my birth mother, and this saved my life. I think we can consecutively wish adoption was abolished (which I do) but also DO SOMETHING. Sitting there wishing adoption was abolished didn't work for me. I had to put action behind it. I desperately needed these resources and I know other adoptees do as well. They are my focus because I also hope they are provided with tools to help them find internal peace inside. I do hear you, and totally get what you are saying.
Adoptive parents* (not adoptive mothers)
Thank you for listening and supporting adoption abolition. Adoption isn't the only system in need of abolition and I think the time is now for us to see the connections and bring all of this to light.
Absolutely, we must save adoptee lives while we work for abolition. Having lost my son twice (adoption and suicide) I understand this better than many. The healing and recovery work you offer to adoptees is the best thing we have going in adoptionland and I never miss an opportunity to raise your profile.
Let's just be mindful that the industry is always ten steps ahead of us activists (because of resources) and co-opts our hard-won knowledge to steal more babies away from families, i.e., many agencies now say they are "trauma-informed." Like the lie of "open adoption," it's just another marketing strategy to relieve them of culpability, allay potential relinquisher or prospective adopter fear and close the deal.
Always much love and deep gratitude for all you do!
Absolutely and so very sorry for your heartbreak and loss. And thank you for your advocacy. One of the many ways I've personally stepped into the arena of advocating against adoption is to support family preservation organizations and we've given several grants to help keep families together by supporting these organizations. I feel the key is putting action behind our words, because otherwise I personally feel like many people talk about wanting change but action on them doing something about it is null and void. It's quite disheartening however, I stay on the course of doing all I can to raise awareness on the harms of adoption while creating resources for the community that means a lot to me. So much work to be done. Sending you many hugs!