For those who believe in a God of truth, it is vital to question why the process of adoption, which is supposed to be a good and loving act, is shrouded in secrecy and lies.
Going on 56 years old and the torture of my existence pretty much gets worse daily. One of my natural mothers older brothers is a Catholic Priest. I wish someone would send this to him. A copy to some of my religious natural and adoptive aunts too.
Let me first thank you for bringing this topic to the table. As both an Adult Adoptee and a saved woman, I can relate to the point of discussion as this was in a sense my same feeling at one time. I do believe it would take much more than a short response here to share my insight but I do feel called to speak truth.
The one thing I know for certain is that there IS Purpose in our pain. I spent 35 years looking for the why and one day I stumbled across Ephesians 1:5, now although it didn't immediately provide answers it was there that I began to understand.
You see we must first understand Why God created us to begin with, it is then that we can understand why such a sacred bond such as that between mother and child would be constantly under attack. God is not a liar, the Lord is however the purest definition of love. We have seen over many generations how that which is pure can be easily tainted.
Again I thank you because this discussion topic has inspired me and has revealed to me that now is the time for my story to be told. My testimony is for His glory because He is a Good Father to all that are Fatherless.
Thank you for allowing room to share, much love and respect to all
My churches refusal to hear me and the other adopted person in our group was one if the reasons I began questioning everything about the way they treated people(there were other reasons as well) I now have a tattoo; Vincit omnia veritas- truth always wins , which I consider my adoption tattoo.
My one concern is the age appropriate aspect . I have seen MANY adoptive parents and others who use this as a way to avoid honesty and trans, because it can be so arbitrary. My own adoptive family and the dozens of their acquaintances who knew and says nothing have given me numerous excuses for why telling me the truth at different times just wasn’t the right time. They decided for me what I was capable of, rather than providing the tools to navigate the truths in a healthy manner. I feel like the appropriate age can be a cop-out, and truth should prevail from day one. It is the afams responsibility to create a space where that truth can be integrated in a way that allows the person to understand and process the pain.
I think adoption was/is shrouded in secrecy and lies because there was/is shame and stigma attached to sex and particularly unmarried sex . There was/is also shame and stigma for couples who couldn't conceive and wanted a child and the only way to get a child was through adoption. I don't know if that stigma exists in the current adoption world but I think with the current situation in the US and the war on reproductive freedoms for American women, that could return. When I was adopted by my step father at age 4, I didn't know that he was not my birth father and no one explained that to me. My mother did not want to tell me the truth, that she was an unwed mother and my birth father denied his paternity. I found out by accident. It was very, painful and shameful for her. It still is and hence the reluctance to talk about her experience/him.
Going on 56 years old and the torture of my existence pretty much gets worse daily. One of my natural mothers older brothers is a Catholic Priest. I wish someone would send this to him. A copy to some of my religious natural and adoptive aunts too.
Let me first thank you for bringing this topic to the table. As both an Adult Adoptee and a saved woman, I can relate to the point of discussion as this was in a sense my same feeling at one time. I do believe it would take much more than a short response here to share my insight but I do feel called to speak truth.
The one thing I know for certain is that there IS Purpose in our pain. I spent 35 years looking for the why and one day I stumbled across Ephesians 1:5, now although it didn't immediately provide answers it was there that I began to understand.
You see we must first understand Why God created us to begin with, it is then that we can understand why such a sacred bond such as that between mother and child would be constantly under attack. God is not a liar, the Lord is however the purest definition of love. We have seen over many generations how that which is pure can be easily tainted.
Again I thank you because this discussion topic has inspired me and has revealed to me that now is the time for my story to be told. My testimony is for His glory because He is a Good Father to all that are Fatherless.
Thank you for allowing room to share, much love and respect to all
My churches refusal to hear me and the other adopted person in our group was one if the reasons I began questioning everything about the way they treated people(there were other reasons as well) I now have a tattoo; Vincit omnia veritas- truth always wins , which I consider my adoption tattoo.
My one concern is the age appropriate aspect . I have seen MANY adoptive parents and others who use this as a way to avoid honesty and trans, because it can be so arbitrary. My own adoptive family and the dozens of their acquaintances who knew and says nothing have given me numerous excuses for why telling me the truth at different times just wasn’t the right time. They decided for me what I was capable of, rather than providing the tools to navigate the truths in a healthy manner. I feel like the appropriate age can be a cop-out, and truth should prevail from day one. It is the afams responsibility to create a space where that truth can be integrated in a way that allows the person to understand and process the pain.
I think adoption was/is shrouded in secrecy and lies because there was/is shame and stigma attached to sex and particularly unmarried sex . There was/is also shame and stigma for couples who couldn't conceive and wanted a child and the only way to get a child was through adoption. I don't know if that stigma exists in the current adoption world but I think with the current situation in the US and the war on reproductive freedoms for American women, that could return. When I was adopted by my step father at age 4, I didn't know that he was not my birth father and no one explained that to me. My mother did not want to tell me the truth, that she was an unwed mother and my birth father denied his paternity. I found out by accident. It was very, painful and shameful for her. It still is and hence the reluctance to talk about her experience/him.