There is a substantial crisis in the adoption community when people can't practice a little empathy for others who have different experiences than they do.
I have heard this more times than I can count. When I hear it, I immediately perceive the person as someone unsafe to be around. In some cases, I know the adopted person or people they are talking about, and I know the adoptees are definitely not okay. Adoptee Silence is real, and comments that invalidate and dismiss our feelings reinforce that silence.
I had a conversation with another adoptee about this yesterday! So much to be said, but you literally summed it up! After being out of the fog for about 15 years now, I have my feelers all the way up, and as soon as someone lets me know they are not willing to listen, learn, and try to understand, I move along. When I first started to come out of the fog, I would get so angry that people wouldn't listen to me. Then I realized that for my mental health, I had to save my time and energy for the people who do want to listen and learn. So many people think they know, but they have no idea. Sending you lots of love as you share your story, and always remember you are a beacon of light to our community! Thank you for all you do! <3
Hi Doreen, Thank you so much! You are more than welcome. Deep in my heart, I have a hope that adoptee isolation and aloneness will be a thing of the past. I am so glad my writing is validating in some way. That is why I keep sharing! Sending you healing vibes, love and light! <3
I have heard this more times than I can count. When I hear it, I immediately perceive the person as someone unsafe to be around. In some cases, I know the adopted person or people they are talking about, and I know the adoptees are definitely not okay. Adoptee Silence is real, and comments that invalidate and dismiss our feelings reinforce that silence.
Good morning, Ande.
I had a conversation with another adoptee about this yesterday! So much to be said, but you literally summed it up! After being out of the fog for about 15 years now, I have my feelers all the way up, and as soon as someone lets me know they are not willing to listen, learn, and try to understand, I move along. When I first started to come out of the fog, I would get so angry that people wouldn't listen to me. Then I realized that for my mental health, I had to save my time and energy for the people who do want to listen and learn. So many people think they know, but they have no idea. Sending you lots of love as you share your story, and always remember you are a beacon of light to our community! Thank you for all you do! <3
Thank you for giving voice to what I have felt over the years but had no words to describe.
Hi Doreen, Thank you so much! You are more than welcome. Deep in my heart, I have a hope that adoptee isolation and aloneness will be a thing of the past. I am so glad my writing is validating in some way. That is why I keep sharing! Sending you healing vibes, love and light! <3
Thank you!