Adoption's Dirty Little Dumping Ground: Abandonment, Rehoming, The Troubled Teen Industry & Homelessness

Let's talk about the epidemic no one wants to face: failed adoptions.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Let's talk about the epidemic no one wants to face: failed adoptions.

It's not a fluke.

It's not rare.

It's a pattern. A trend. A goddamn epidemic.

Every single day, I'm learning more and more about how adopted children, especially international adoptees, are being failed at every possible level. And not quietly. Loudly. Brutally. Publicly. But no one's saying a word.

Let's call it what it is: Adoption abandonment.

These aren't just one-off horror stories. These are systemic betrayals. These are discarded children being silenced, abused, and left to rot in "facilities" that are nothing more than repackaged prisons for the most vulnerable among us.

You don't believe it? Look it up.

Hell, start with the case of Jonah Bevin.

I'm from Kentucky. I know precisely who Matt and Glenna Bevin are. And what they did to Jonah is unforgivable. They adopted him, shipped him off to a "boarding school" as soon as he hit his teens when things got tough, and left him homeless on the streets when the abusive facility got shut down in a whole different country. Loving adoptive parents would have gone to the rescue, but not the Bevins. But let me be clear: loving adoptive parents would have never sent their adoptive kids off to a hell hole and washed their hands of them.

They didn't love him. They loved the image of what they thought he'd be. And they got rid of him when he couldn't live up to that mold.

And here's the wild part: Jonah isn't the exception. He's the rule.

Thousands of adoptees, especially internationally adopted and transracial adoptees, are being tossed aside like trash when they don't fit the fantasy. And the public?

Silent.

Let's break this down:

These so-called boarding schools or "academies" look picture-perfect on the outside. They're painted as healing centers or character-building campuses. But on the inside?

Abuse. Starvation. Isolation. Restraint. Psychological torture.

Photo by alex mihu on Unsplash

No real oversight. No true regulation. And no one being held accountable when these kids come out even more broken than when they went in.

This isn't parenting. This is human trafficking with a PR team.

And let's not forget the bullshit being fed to adoptive parents from the start.

They're told, "You might be dealing with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)," like that's a legitimate reason to throw a child away.

They're warned about "Adopted Child Syndrome," as if the adoptee is the problem for reacting to the deep trauma of being ripped from everything they've ever known.

Let's be clear: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Adopted Child Syndrome are labels that adoptees across the board are rejecting—loudly. These diagnoses are a problem because they detour the conversation away from the real issue: separation trauma. They slap a pathology on the adoptee for reacting to something no human being should have to endure—the loss of their biological mother, often at birth. These labels don't validate the wound. They criminalize the reaction to it.

We are not disordered. We are responding to a society that thinks it's acceptable—even praiseworthy—to sever the most primal bond on earth and call it love. These labels let adoptive parents, adoption agencies, birth parents, and facilitators off the hook while placing the weight of that dysfunction squarely on the shoulders of the child.

We rebuke this. We refuse to wear your shame as a diagnosis. The problem is not the adoptee. The problem is the society that profits off of separating mothers and babies and then has the audacity to slap diagnostic labels on the foreheads of the children they've traumatized.

Who sleeps at night knowing their bank account is funded by this horror show? It's time to cut the bullshit. We're not broken. We were broken open by a system that needs to be dismantled. And the mirror is long overdue.

Let me make this crystal clear:

We are not broken. We were shattered. By you.

And no, we're not going to sit quietly anymore. We're not going to let you label us, pathologize us, and throw us into the system when your parenting fantasy falls apart.

These facilities are hell.

These agencies are complicit.

These adoptive parents need to be held accountable.

You can't pay thousands of dollars for a child and then discard them when things get hard. That's not parenthood. That's possession. And we are not possessions.

Adoption is sold as salvation, but what happens when the savior complex wears off?

You send the child away.

You slap a diagnosis on them.

You throw them into the "Troubled Teen Industry."

You. Abandon. Them.

And let's get even louder: It is time to put legislation into place.

We need bills that block adoptive parents from being able to send their adopted children out of the country like Matt and Glenna Bevin did. That should be illegal. They should be held criminally accountable for abandonment, and there is no acceptable reason why they haven't been charged.

Just a few weeks ago, I was contacted by two investigative journalists from the Associated Press who are digging deep into the horrifying reality of adoptees being abandoned by their adoptive parents. They reached out to hear my perspective, rooted in years of lived experience and advocacy.

Months prior, I had a powerful conversation with 11:11 Impact Media, Paris Hilton's organization fighting for legislative change through the Stop Institutional Child Abuse Act NOW bill. We discussed how adoptees are overwhelmingly overrepresented in the troubled teen industry—something their research and advocacy work has validated.

More recently, I connected with Dawn J. Post, a fierce Children's Rights Attorney representing hundreds of adopted youth who have not only been abandoned but discarded and left to rot in these abusive facilities—many ending up homeless, traumatized, and alone.

This is not a coincidence.

This is a crisis.

The fact that these major media outlets, organizations, and legal experts are finally locking arms to spotlight this devastating pattern means the world to me. I've been screaming into the void for nearly two decades: Adoptees are dying. And now, maybe—finally—the world is starting to listen. We owe these children more than silence. We owe them justice, visibility, and change.

I know of endless adoptees who have been sent overseas when things got tough, often having their passports confiscated so they can't come back. When they age out at 18, they're stuck, homeless in a foreign country they never chose to be in. This is criminal. This is vile. And it should be a prosecutable offense.

We need real legislative change:

• Laws that prohibit sending adopted children out of the country.

• Accountability measures for adoptive parents who abandon or disown their children.

• There should be a one-year maximum to send your adoptive child to any type of facility.

• Strict monitoring and federal oversight of troubled teen facilities and boarding schools.

• Laws that strip abusive "academies" of their tax-exempt status and expose their funding.

• Agencies must be held legally liable for false advertising and failing to educate adoptive parents about trauma, loss, and grief.

This is bigger than one family. This is an international disgrace.

Here's my call to action:

For adoptive parents:

• Start asking yourself hard questions.

• Start unlearning the lies you were sold.

• Start researching.

• Don't trust the agencies. Don't trust the lawyers. And don't trust BraveLove or any pro-adoption campaign that makes you feel warm and fuzzy while hiding the blood on its hands.

For those considering adoption:

• Reconsider.

• And if you won't reconsider, at least educate yourself on trauma, loss, identity, and the full reality of what it means to raise someone who has been taken from their country, culture, and original family.

For the adoptee community:

• Keep speaking. Keep writing. Keep raising hell.

• Don't let this go.

• We are the truth-tellers in a sea of carefully crafted lies.

• We know what's really going on.

I'm not an international adoptee, but I'm in solidarity with those who are.

I've listened. I've learned. I've built relationships with transracial and international adoptees who have lived through hell and are still rising.

Their stories are brutal. Their strength is unmatched. Their rage is sacred.

And I stand with them.

Every. Single. Day.

This is just the beginning of what I plan to write on this subject. I'll be unpacking more in the coming months about the "troubled teen" industry, about homelessness in the adoptee community, about how adoptive parents are given every benefit of the doubt while adoptees are given none. I will also be illuminating the “rehoming” epidemic of adoptees. I haven’t even gotten started.

To the adoptive parents reading this:

We didn’t make this choice for ourselves.

You did.

I don't care how uncomfortable this makes you.

Do the work.

Because the system you've bought into is failing.

And the adoptees it chewed up and spit out?

We are done being silent.

Please consider reading these articles and doing the research to learn more about this epidemic. Consider donating to Jonah Bevins' fundraiser and his fundraiser to help other adoptees who have been abandoned by their adoptive parents. Jonah's story has many new twists and turns, and a quick Google search will find the most recent updates. I have shared several links below.

Please visit Dawn J. Posts' website and share her work. All of her work for abandoned adoptees is pro bono. She is hardly ever compensated, and she deserves to be. The adoptee community is beyond grateful for her and her work!

• I'd rather die than go back': Jamaica's school for troubled US boys INVESTIGATION BY DECCA AITKENHEAD

• Broken Adoption Symposium; Getting It All Out On The Table by Dawn J. Post

• What are the Factors Leading to Broken Adoptions? by Dawn J. Post

• Adopted. Abandoned. But not forgotten by Dawn J. Post

• THE REVOLVING DOORS OF FAMILY COURT: CONFRONTING BROKEN ADOPTIONS BY DAWN J. POST AND BRIAN ZIMMERMAN

• Abuse by Proxy by Dawn Post and Michael J. McFarland

• Help Jonah Rebuild His Future

• Support Jonah Bevin's Mission for Abandoned Adoptees

Photo by Ed Robertson on Unsplash

I see you; I feel your pain for all the adoptees who feel forgotten, lost, and alone. Please don’t give up, and know you aren’t alone in feeling like you do.

If you are a USA adoptee experiencing a mental health crisis, please take immediate steps to ensure your safety. Contact a licensed mental health professional or text #988 for immediate assistance.

For adoptees around the globe, please reach out to The Mental Health Helplines: International Global Help Hotline Directory here.

I have compiled a list of recommended resources for adoptees and advocates. It can be found here: Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees and Adoption Advocates.

Thank you for reading and for supporting me and my work.

Understanding is Love,

Pamela A. Karanova

Here are a few articles I recommend reading:

100 Heartfelt Transracial Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption by Pamela A. Karanova & 100 Transracial Adoptees Worldwide

When Adoptees Know Loss Before We Know Love by Pamela A. Karanova

When Society is Uninformed On Separation Trauma, Education is Essential by Pamela A. Karanova

Thirty Things to Consider Before Adopting from An Adult Adoptee Perspective by Pamela A. Karanova

I’m Adopted, HELP ME by Pamela A. Karanova

Adoption Hasn’t Touched Me. It’s Ruthlessly Kicked My Ass by Pamela A. Karanova

Head Logic Won't Heal a Broken Heart: Emotional Gaslighting & Why Emotions Matter in Adoptee Grief & Loss by Pamela A. Karanova

Adopted and in the Dark: The Medical History Crisis No One Talks About by Pamela A. Karanova

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