From Survival to Superpower: Why Adoptees Are Wired to Be Intuitive

The world often teaches us to prioritize logic over feeling and reason over instinct. But as adoptees, our intuition is one of our most potent tools, also known as superpowers.

Photo by Martin Neuhold on Unsplash

For as long as I can remember, there has been a quiet knowing within me—a persistent whisper I couldn't explain. It wasn't something I learned or was taught; it was something I felt. Growing up as an adoptee, this sense of knowing became a constant companion. It wasn't just a tool for understanding others; it was a survival mechanism, a way to make sense of a world that often felt confusing and incomplete.

But honestly, I sometimes wished I didn't feel so much. Being this intuitive can feel like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it helps me connect deeply with others and sense emotions before they're spoken. On the other hand, it's exhausting. It's hard to carry so much emotional awareness when the world feels heavy or unspoken dynamics surround me that I can't escape.

This intuition is deeply tied to my adoptee experience. It's not just about reading people or situations—it's about navigating the gaps—gaps in identity, my history, and understanding where I fit. While intuition has been a gift in many ways, it's also been a journey to learn how to trust it and use it for myself, not just to make sense of everyone else.

Why Are Adoptees So Intuitive?

Adoptees are intuitive for many reasons, but a significant portion comes down to how we've adapted to our environments. From the beginning, adoption introduces us to a world where certain pieces are missing. For many of us, those missing pieces are biological connections—mirroring the traits, habits, or even minor quirks that people with biological families take for granted.

As a child, I'd look in the mirror and wonder who I looked like. I'd study my face, hoping to see traces of someone else, but I didn't know who that someone was. Around my adoptive family, there was a subtle undercurrent that reminded me I was different. I didn't just know this—I felt it.

Without those natural reflections, I learned to focus on what wasn't being said. I noticed the tone of someone's voice, the look in their eyes, and how their body shifted when they were uncomfortable. I became hyper-aware of energy in a room, not because I wanted to be but because I had to be.

This kind of awareness is common for adoptees. We sense things others might not notice. Perhaps it's because we've learned to navigate relationships where emotions are complex or layered with unspoken truths and even half-truths, secrecy, and lies. It could be because we've had to piece together parts of our story that don't fit neatly into a narrative.

Trauma & Complex- PTSD

Heightened intuition in adoptees is often deeply connected to the traumatic experiences we’ve endured, starting with the primal wound of separation from our first mothers. This preverbal trauma hardwires us to be hyper-aware of our surroundings, constantly scanning for signs of safety or danger.

Growing up in an environment where pieces of our identity and truth were often missing only amplifies this heightened state of awareness. It’s a survival mechanism—a way to navigate a world where trust, belonging, and stability often feel uncertain. While this intuitive ability can be a gift, allowing adoptees to pick up on subtle emotional cues and unspoken dynamics, it also stems from a place of pain and hypervigilance. Learning to balance this heightened awareness without being overwhelmed by it is a lifelong challenge for many adoptees.

The Emotional Weight of Intuition

Being this intuitive is both a plus and a challenge. There have been so many times I've felt things before I could put words to them. I'd sense when someone wasn't being honest or holding back. I'd feel the weight of unspoken tension in a room, even when no one else seemed to notice.

For adoptees, this can feel isolating. There's a constant push-and-pull between wanting to understand others and wanting someone to understand you. The emotional weight of always "knowing" can make you feel like you're carrying other people's feelings in addition to your own.

There's also the pain of not feeling seen. Because adoptees are so intuitive, we often anticipate others' needs before they even realize them. For me, it always felt like I had to care for my adoptive mom's feelings daily—tending to her emotional wants and needs, smoothing things over, and filling the gaps. But who fills the gaps for us?

Intuition Disconnect & The War Within

I became profoundly disconnected from my intuition because of the separation from my birth mother and my adoption. This early rupture from my biological roots disconnected me from my true self and thrust me into survival mode. Instead of growing up with a secure sense of identity, I learned to scan my environment for cues, seeking safety and belonging in ways that often meant silencing my inner voice. Later, in religious communities, this disconnection deepened when I was taught that my intuition was synonymous with my "flesh"—something inherently bad, something to be denied and overcome. This teaching caused significant harm. It created a war within me, forcing me to suppress one of the most natural and authentic parts of myself in order to conform to an external framework of what was "good."

The issue lay in the false dichotomy I was given: the idea that I could either follow my intuition or reject it in favor of faith, obedience, or moral correctness. There was no room for both, and the result was inner turmoil. I couldn't reconcile the idea that something so deeply rooted in me—my ability to sense, know, and feel—was supposedly leading me astray. It created a battle between trusting myself and striving to meet an imposed standard, leaving me disconnected, exhausted, and deeply conflicted.

The turning point came when I shifted my perspective. Instead of viewing my intuition as "flesh" to be fought against, I began to see it as a compass guiding me toward my most authentic self. As I let go of the harmful narrative that my intuition was wrong or bad, I learned that it was, in fact, one of the most valuable superpowers I had. It wasn't leading me away from the truth but toward it. When I began to trust my intuition and follow the authentic path, the concept of "flesh" and the war it created within me disappeared. My intuition has become a source of strength, clarity, and connection—a way back to myself after years of disconnection.

How Intuition Shaped My Identity

I used my intuition for years to navigate the world outside of myself. It became second nature to read others, anticipate what they needed, and understand their emotions before they even spoke them aloud. But when it came to my own emotions, I didn't always know how to listen.

It took me a long time to realize that intuition isn't just about understanding others—it's also about understanding myself. For adoptees, this can feel like uncharted territory. How do you trust your inner voice when the world has taught you to question so much about who you are?

Reconnecting with my intuition has been a process of turning inward. It's been about creating space for myself, listening to my feelings, and trusting that they are valid. It's been about reminding myself that my intuition isn't just a tool for survival—it's a bridge back to my true self.

The Science Behind Adoptee Intuition

While intuition often feels abstract, there's science to back it up. Studies show intuition is rooted in the brain's ability to recognize patterns and draw on subconscious experiences. For adoptees, this heightened sense is often a result of early experiences of separation trauma, loss, and uncertainty.

I have learned that adoptees are more likely to experience psychological and developmental challenges due to early life stressors, such as separation from birth parents. These early stressors can heighten emotional awareness and sensitivity to adapt to unpredictable environments. Research further explains how early separation or trauma can have lasting effects on mental health, including an increased ability to read emotional cues in others.

For adoptees, intuition isn't just a "feeling"—a profoundly ingrained skill developed from lived experience.

Reconnecting With Your Intuition

If you're an adoptee, your intuition is likely one of your greatest strengths, even if it hasn't always felt that way. Reconnecting with it means learning to trust yourself to navigate the world around you and guide yourself toward healing and self-discovery.

• Create Space for Stillness: Intuition speaks quietly, and it's easy to miss if you're surrounded by noise. Take time each day to sit with your thoughts, journal, or meditate.

• Listen to Your Body: Intuition often manifests as a physical sensation—a tightness in your chest, a flutter in your stomach, or a sense of calm. Pay attention to how your body reacts in different situations.

• Validate Your Feelings: Your emotions are authentic and valid, even if they don't make sense to others. Trust what you feel and know that your intuition protects you.

• Set Boundaries: Being intuitive often means being deeply empathetic, but protecting your energy is essential. Learn to say no when something doesn't feel right.

• Practice Self-Compassion: Healing is a journey, and taking it one step at a time is okay. Be kind to yourself as you learn to reconnect with your inner guide.

A Message to My Fellow Adoptees

To my fellow adoptees, your intuition is a gift and a superpower. The quiet voice has guided you through uncertainty, the spark that has carried you through loss, and the light that helps you navigate the unknown.

The world often teaches us to prioritize logic over feeling and reason over instinct. But as adoptees, our intuition is one of our most potent tools, also known as superpowers. It connects us to our inner truth, to the parts of ourselves that no external story can define.

You deserve to trust yourself. You deserve to listen to your inner voice. Your intuition isn't just a survival mechanism—it's a guide, a protector, and a reminder that you are your own guide, even amid unanswered questions.

So, make space for yourself. Listen. Trust the feelings that rise up, even if they don't make sense immediately. Your intuition has carried you this far—it will bring you home to yourself.

You are not too much. You are not broken. You are worth listening to.

It’s Your Turn to Spill The Tea!

Let’s Talk: What Does Intuition Mean to You?

As adoptees, many of us share this deeply intuitive sense—a survival mechanism turned superpower. How has it shown up in your life? Does it feel like a gift, a burden, or both? Have you ever struggled to trust your intuition, especially after being told it was “wrong” or “bad”? What helped you reconnect with it? How has your intuition guided your relationships or shaped your sense of self? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Drop a comment, and let’s start a meaningful conversation. Your voice matters!

---

I see you; I feel your pain for all the adoptees who feel forgotten, lost, and alone. Please don’t give up, and know you aren’t alone in feeling like you do.

If you are a USA adoptee experiencing a mental health crisis, please take immediate steps to ensure your safety. Contact a licensed mental health professional or text #988 for immediate assistance.

For adoptees around the globe, please reach out to The Mental Health Helplines: International Global Help Hotline Directory here.

I have compiled a list of recommended resources for adoptees and advocates. It can be found here: Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees and Adoption Advocates.

Thank you for reading and for supporting me and my work.

Understanding is Love,

Pamela A. Karanova

Here are a few articles that highlight the intersection of adoption, grief and loss I recommend reading:

The Essential Role of The Grief Recovery Method in The Adoption Constellation.

Still, Grieving Adoptee Losses, What My Adoptive Parents Could Have Done Differently.

Acknowledging Immeasurable Adoptee Grief, The Real Mother.

When Adoptees Know Loss Before We Know Love.

Bewildering Adoptee Grief on Infinite Repeat.

I’m Adopted, Help Me!

30 Things To Consider Before Adopting From An Adult Adoptee Perspective.

Adoptee Holiday Grief, The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Adoption Hasn’t Touched Me. It’s Ruthlessly Kicked My Ass.

Adoption: Mislabeled, Medicated, & Diagnosed Adoptees Could Be Grieving Profoundly.

Adoption: Deconstructing Harmful Myths We've Learned About Adoptee Grief.

Grief From Adoption? Most People Think Of Death and Dying When They Think of Grief.

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this article and podcast are those of the author, Pamela A. Karanova. These articles are intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing shared on this platform should be considered psychological, medical, or legal advice. Reproduction of the material contained in this publication may be made only with the written permission of Pamela A. Karanova.

While Pamela hopes you find the information on her website useful and informative, please note that the information provided is for general informational purposes only. Although every effort is made to ensure the information is up-to-date and correct, Pamela A. Karanova makes no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability, or availability with respect to the resources listed on the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained therein. Any reliance you place on such information is strictly at your own risk.

Through this website, you may link to other websites which are not under the control of Pamela A. Karanova. She has no control over the nature, content, and availability of those sites. The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorsement of the views expressed within them.